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Why did God treat me like nothing? [Spirituality & Religion]

My husband is an a-hole. he wouldn't let us have children. i have been raped and beaten on many occasions by other people including family members. my husband and i don't have sex or rape. i have been suicidal since i was 10 and i have never had friends or family or anyone. i am the nicest sweetest person i know. i think i am ready to go now.
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abe182 · 46-50, M
Since you have no kids, LEAVE!
@abe182 that would be the best idea, but i can't work and i have no where to go
nedkelly · 61-69, M
@abe182 Leaving is very hard, no money, no friends, job prospects are very low, many women rather stay and leave for the unknown
abe182 · 46-50, M
@nedkelly yes but there are women shelters. If she had kids she would be stuck. she's not stuck.
nedkelly · 61-69, M
@abe182 Good luck trying to get in to women shelters they are full with a waiting list, I deal with ladies of domestic violence and they suffer in silence, last month I had a 77 year old lady of domestic violence
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@nedkelly women are also at their most vulnerable when they leave - that's when things can escalate from bad to worse as the abuser ratchets things up
@nedkelly if i had left before i got brain damage that would have been good but it is too late for me now.
nedkelly · 61-69, M
@Salix75 As a financial counsellor i work very closely with other agencies dealing with ladies of domestic violence, it is terrible and the damage that is done can never be undone
@abe182 wrong. if i had kids people would be more inclined to help me. but they wouldn't even when i was pregnant