Why did God treat me like nothing? [Spirituality & Religion]

My husband is an a-hole. he wouldn't let us have children. i have been raped and beaten on many occasions by other people including family members. my husband and i don't have sex or rape. i have been suicidal since i was 10 and i have never had friends or family or anyone. i am the nicest sweetest person i know. i think i am ready to go now.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Talk to me, bunny.

LILY61

@Mamapolo2016 i don't know what to say

Mamapolo2016 · F

@LILY61 You don't have to say anything. I don't want to put more pressure on you. We can just talk or we can talk about what you can do and where to find help, or we can not talk at all. It's your choice.

You DO have choices. Abusers try to make you believe you don't.

LILY61

@Mamapolo2016 i went to the police and they said they would take me out and shoot me between the eyes if i ever said anything against my father again. i tried dating a few cops in later life but they were already on board with hurting me. i called the FBI when i was in 5th grade and they said they would have to speak to my parents first. i almost died that day.every where i worked i was harassed and sexually harassed and at times assaulted. no one would help me. NO ONE. when i was gang raped and pregnant the government run places to help women would not help me. my life has been hell and i realized that i should have gone federal long time ago but they would have just been lied to too.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@LILY61 The first question you have to answer is, everything else aside, forgetting the past, [b][i]do you want to leave if you can?[/i][/b] I can't answer that for you.

I will keep an eye on my inbox here and if you want to falk, even just to vent, PM me.

LILY61

@Mamapolo2016 thanks...i just don't think i have the strength to leave anymore. i have tried to start over and re-invent myself so many times and now i am just tired

Mamapolo2016 · F

@LILY61 As I said, I can't answer for you. Renember my screen name and let ne know when you're ready.

LILY61

@Mamapolo2016 if you have someone for me to contact you would have said already. i have contacted everyone at some point in my life and no one would help me. all of these places people talk about don't exist. you have to meet some stupid criteria and they change it to fit their needs so they don't have to do a thing.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@LILY61 I don't know where you live, so I don't know where to look. And I have no right to push you into something you don!t want. It sounds like you've had enough of that already. But if you DO want information, PM me with a general location and I will look.