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A Home Is Just a House, Without Love [Spirituality & Religion]

These words recommend family love and peace, as needful for the comfort of human life. There is nothing worse, than strife at home. Think how much better marriages would be, and the world a different place, if respect started in the home. I'm convinced that if husband and wife would practice respect for each other from the beginning, and carry that throughout the marriage, we would see far less divorces. You wouldn't yell at, or treat your best friend, like you sometimes do your spouse, so why would you yell at and mistreat the one you say you love, like this? Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. When you yell at people, they can't hear what you're saying. All they hear is the hostility. Treat them like a human being, the way they deserve to be treated, instead of a dog, and you'll find they're all ears. Willing to listen. People are not hard hearing, unless they have physical problems. You'll get your message across a lot quicker and more effectively, if you'll calm down, instead of acting like a mad person. Love the other person enough to do that. The way you treat people reflects more on your character and maturity, than theirs.

If you're upset, take a walk and then come back, when both of you are not so hardheaded, nor hotheaded. Or, you can simply say, "Let's talk about this tomorrow, when we're not so emotional." I believe it would be best to resolve things that same day, however, and not go to bed angry. Suggest going out for coffee at a restaurant, and talking about it later. That way, you can both cool off, and your less likely to argue and get loud in a public place.

Whatever you do, remember the other person is your best friend, and treat them accordingly. Leave little love notes around the house to remind your spouse how special they are, and that you have not forgotten them. Let them know you are thinking of them each day. Tape little notes to the mirror, or leave one on the steering wheel of their car. This will keep your marriage fresh and exciting. Use your imagination. If you want to rekindle that flame, treat them as you did when you were dating them. You'll be shocked at how well this works. Don't forget that extra hug and kiss. It means all the world to that person who is lonely and just waiting for your attention. Set a date night, even if you are married. No need for the flame to die, just because you're married. You must keep it kindled! 😉 Doing something "just because" and without expectation means a lot, too.
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Serenitree · F
The two best marriages I have seen in recent times were people who always remembered the please and thank you. They always sounded happy to hear their partner's voice when they called. Always, before anything else, when they got home, there were hugs, and "How was your day?" Not just to hear "Good, how was yours" but they actually talked about the day and listened to each other. Respect was paramount in their homes. They gave it willingly to each other and to their children. They shared all chores, because they both worked full time, outside the home. Shared the raising of the children. And as far as I know, never argued in front of the kids. Or the help. I was their cleaning lady. 18 years with one family and 17 years with the other.
@Serenitree Lovely. A good plan to live by. 👍
poisonflowers · 31-35, F
Thank you for writing this. It's all too easy to take the ones closest to us for granted when they should be the ones we treat with the utmost respect and love. I catch myself doing this at times and have to stop myself.
@poisonflowers Yes, the effort is so worth it. It can be done. We cannot change each other, nor should we try to, but what we can do is change the way we think and feel about the other person, and try to be a better, more loving person. What you give, comes back, if persistent, but we can't just try something 5 or 6 or even 15 times, and then conclude that it doesn't work. Sometimes the relationship was broken quite sometime ago, therefore it will not heal overnight. It takes perseverance, work, but most of all, love. We don't have to beat ourselves up for mistakes. When you know better, you just do better. I commend you for the realization of how to make things work much better. Your efforts shall be rewarded. Talk is nothing without action. I'm proud of you for trying. Way to go! 👍👏🤗
unitX · 36-40, M
It's too bad I did the opposite of all this and learned the hard way.
@unitX I take it you're no longer with this person?
unitX · 36-40, M
@LadyGrace That is correct. It was real love and I wasn't ready for it. Instead I was shown all of my ugliness and reacted badly. The result is the desolation of today. I deserve it.
@unitX Now that you have matured, can you go back and talk to her one on one and admit your mistakes and ask her for another chance?

 
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