I'm in love with you
I thought I loved before.. In fact, my account on here was my way to express that "love". Turns out, I didn't even know what love meant, even though I thought I had all the answers. When she cheated and left, it hurt so much.. I knew for sure, she was "the one that got away".. Took me a long time to get over her, too long. Then there was a space of nothingness and then a low point, and that is when I met you. I was not a man I was proud of, I felt hideous. And yet, you pulled me out of that pit.. and everything I thought about love tipped on it's head. People always talk about "the one that got away". Songs, literature.. like she has this big emotional space that won't go away. No one really talks about how, when you meat "the" one, how insignificant "the one that got away" becomes. Just a footnote. This is the first time in three years I thought about her.. because I signed into this account and I typed song lyrics about her and even wrote about her. And you know me, I am a very cringy man, I love sappy things and I write you paragraphs all the time. Maybe it would look parallel to how I speak about you. But I remember those emotions now that I am looking at them again.. It was not love. It was loneliness. I didn't want to be alone. Anxious attachment. I never felt love back from her, her words were always two dimensional.. but it didnt matter, beat being alone. I knew she lied about everything and I didnt care as long as she stayed, up until I could no longer ignore it. Those lyrics were written by a sad immature boy and they were not written out of love.
You? I have never been scared around. I have always been myself. You came in and loved me for me. Not for who I could be. You loved me when I thought I was unlovable. This is so profoundly different. I need you in my life. And not because I'm scared to be alone anymore. I need you in my life because I am in love with you and you make me smile like no other. We are a walking miracle and I love you more every day. and I know you love me too. Your words are never empty, I now know what being in love, to give and to get feels like. And my footnote no longer even matters. Never has, the moment I saw you. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that you are my future wife. I am so lucky to know this so clearly. Not through the lens of a scared little boy but through the man I am becoming for you. I now look in the mirror and I smile because you made me love myself too. All my quirks and things people used to make fun of me for, and some still do. and I am no longer ashamed.
I fell in love with you on Day 4. The day that I laid my guard down for you. And here we are, 10 days away from our 38th month. You saved me. So mark my words, I am going to save you too. Fuck all those who hurt and put you down. I am going to pull you out of your hell too. You are my everything.
And I created this group just to swoon over you. Not because I am scared. But because my love for you is so big and it's a space to channel those feelings, with a smile on my face.
You? I have never been scared around. I have always been myself. You came in and loved me for me. Not for who I could be. You loved me when I thought I was unlovable. This is so profoundly different. I need you in my life. And not because I'm scared to be alone anymore. I need you in my life because I am in love with you and you make me smile like no other. We are a walking miracle and I love you more every day. and I know you love me too. Your words are never empty, I now know what being in love, to give and to get feels like. And my footnote no longer even matters. Never has, the moment I saw you. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that you are my future wife. I am so lucky to know this so clearly. Not through the lens of a scared little boy but through the man I am becoming for you. I now look in the mirror and I smile because you made me love myself too. All my quirks and things people used to make fun of me for, and some still do. and I am no longer ashamed.
I fell in love with you on Day 4. The day that I laid my guard down for you. And here we are, 10 days away from our 38th month. You saved me. So mark my words, I am going to save you too. Fuck all those who hurt and put you down. I am going to pull you out of your hell too. You are my everything.
And I created this group just to swoon over you. Not because I am scared. But because my love for you is so big and it's a space to channel those feelings, with a smile on my face.
31-35, M