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This place brings memories

I am sitting in this cafe that I used to visit a lot during end 2020, and early 2021... I have to say, it is heart aching being here, but in a way, I feel that I needed to be here.. I used to go to this cafe to avoid the house on weekends, but my mother was on my mind A LOT during my time here... It is because, a lot of immigration stuff happened here, and when it comes to this, my mother was an inseparable part of this process, and she doesn't even know it, but she sensed it... She was on my mind every step of the process... and during 2021, as I was contemplating departure, a lot of it happened here.

First time I visited this cafe was when I came to this mall probably for the first time to submit my fingerprints for background check for immigration end of August 2020. I was on leave, and I was excited that morning because it was pretty much last stages and I was just surprised of how fast my immigration application was processed. I always like to treat myself with coffee in a nice place when I have something important like an interview or something.. I so I entered this cafe and got a Spanish latte, and then it became my go to for the period after that

I used to study for my finance exam end of 2020 there, and then I studied there for my Canadian qualification early 2021.. I used to go early in the morning every weekend, because I wanted to escape my brother and sister coming into the house, and all the noise that used to give me anxiety... and I'd stay there until the evening.. Then I would grab my mother food on the way out..

I used to go there many days after work too, and I distinctly remember really miserable evenings after work spent there during the year 2021, thinking and worrying... it was such a stressful year for me...

I came here today because I am meeting my friend in the evening, and I just wanted to get some work done until she comes.. and I just felt like being here again, sat on the same table...

I might come early in the morning this weekend and get breakfast, like I used to.. I do not know why I put myself in situations that I know will make me feel pain and sense nostalgia... but I feel that I need it somehow...

I didn't miss my mother after her departure because we were not close in recent years, so when she left me, I didn't feel there was someone missing from my life, but I am starting now, after almost a year, soon in a few months.

This cafe is the only place I do not wear my headphones because they place nice jazz... but it is almost like it is the same playlist and songs they've always played.. or other songs that also remind me of a time of my life when I was closer to my mother.. This place brings memories.
I am glad that you can refresh some memories in that cafe. Remember life moves on no matter what. Hopefully you can make new memories too. 馃
Degbeme70-79, M
Think of the good memories. Push the depressing ones away. 馃

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