I listen to pink sweats or David Bowden songs

The music I listen to reminds me of my family who are still alive and how much I love them. I also am reminded of my dead grandparents on my mother’s side who have passed on. I am reminded of my ex boyfriend who once was a part of my life even if it was virtual and long distance. He is happy now I believe.. last time he contacted me was two years and seven months ago when he got engaged and was dating his now I’m assuming wife. He ended our friendship. I know I broke up with him first to save him from myself and my issues. The song he sent me was pink sweats “ at my worst” to convey how he felt in early 2023 before our breakup in mid July 2023. I also listened to pink sweats song “ seventeen” both were about lasting love. Pink sweats seems to be an up and coming musical artist whose real name is David Bowden. These songs could also relate to my parents and grandparents as they also fell in love when they were young and have loved each other for many decades. They were not seventeen when they fell in love but still only in early 20s. Also so many songs remind me of my ex boyfriend Sujeet. We really thought we would be together forever before I had my mental breakdown. It was my fault our relationship ended but I have to learn to forgive myself. He will always be a part of me but I have to learn to let him go. It’s strange but even though I never met him in person because of both of our financial situations , I really loved him. He was kind, patient, and I could tell honest about who he was. When I told him last year that I had cancer, he never responded though. I know he didn’t. Want to make his wife upset or suspicious even when there was nothing to be suspicious about truthfully. He is not the cheating kind and I’m not the type to attempt to take away people who are dating/engaged/married to others away from their romantic partners or spouses. I would have been sad I lost him but happy he found love again to heal his broken heart. I would have just stepped aside and let him be with his wife and just had been the good friend who pined for him in my heart. Anyway, that wasn’t good enough so he still ended the friendship. He probably thought it was inappropriate to be friends with his ex girlfriend when he was engaged. He told me before he met Mrs jha that we would always be friends. I asked him out right if we would always remain friends and he said yes of course. I guess once he got seriously involved with Mrs. Jha that could no longer be the case. It still hurts to have lost him both as a boyfriend and the way we dreamed eventual husband and then again as a friend. I just have to let him live his life. He deserves a happy life after everything he’s been through. I wish he could have kept me in his life as his close friend and we still could be in each others lives but I guess that’s very naive of me. He lost all caring about me even as a friend. But I never stopped caring for him and loving him. I feel like I lost a missing piece of my soul. People say there will be others that come along some day but I don’t think I want anyone else. Anyway music makes me think about life.