Women and relations in my community
Sometimes I feel bothered or annoyed by the sexual knowledge of those around me in my culture or community.. It is sad women in my community were never taught how to be safe, what to expect, their rights etc. etc. In fact, they were taught that they should know nothing, or else, they could be accused of having no honour. Or if they showed interest or demanded pleasure, they are such bad women..
I remember my friend was telling me about her first time (when she married) and how her husband didn't want to wait until after dinner (not that he was too horny, I think he just had to prove something), regardless of her telling him to wait. She was telling the story as if it was something funny, but I did not find it funny at all.
Then she continues talking about how she bled like crazy, and that it was too hurtful (I could imagine), and she was talking about it as if it is something normal, in fact, I felt she talked about it with a sense of pride. As if she was pleased that it was the perfect proof that she is such an honourable woman, or that her husband was so masculine, and that; oh this is the normal thing when you have such a manly husband. She also thought this story was funny, her other friend thought so too, I am not sure which part is, her bleeding or being it hurtful.
The problem is, her husband is not really a bad man. I know him personally, not too well, but I generally like him. Because he seems like a caring father and husband from what I see and from what my friend tells me about him. So it is not about someone being bad, it is just a lot of ignorance and culture pressure that make men behave aggressively to prove their manhood.
My other friend also talked about how her husband blamed her all the way for everything that went wrong in the bedroom.. and my other friend talked about her husband pleasure but never about her own, as if she didn't have the right to..
Really don't ask me why I know all of these stories, I never ask or even go there, it makes me so uncomfortable, but people just fu*king tell me about their s*xual lives! I swear I had colleagues whom I don't know well talking to me about it, and I had a WTF reaction on my face throughout the entire conversation... No idea why people open up to me about this shit 🤷♀️
But when they do, the things I hear are sometimes sad, disgusting, or shocking.. Like one friend of mine thought people have sex only on special occasions when she was in her late 20s, and she was sort of proud that she didn't have such knowledge before, because it proves how innocent she is..
I learned that many men in my society think it is insulting to wear a condom, because they think condoms are worn only by those who have adulterous relations..
And don't get me started on consent, and how many women in my society are convinced they have to be ready at all times, per his request, or else, they are bad wives, they are pushing him to cheat, and of course they are promised eternal damnation (as per religious sources)
Really people need to stop talking to me about this shit, because it leaves me with a feeling of disgust, especially when I feel that they don't see what's the big deal about it.
I remember my friend was telling me about her first time (when she married) and how her husband didn't want to wait until after dinner (not that he was too horny, I think he just had to prove something), regardless of her telling him to wait. She was telling the story as if it was something funny, but I did not find it funny at all.
Then she continues talking about how she bled like crazy, and that it was too hurtful (I could imagine), and she was talking about it as if it is something normal, in fact, I felt she talked about it with a sense of pride. As if she was pleased that it was the perfect proof that she is such an honourable woman, or that her husband was so masculine, and that; oh this is the normal thing when you have such a manly husband. She also thought this story was funny, her other friend thought so too, I am not sure which part is, her bleeding or being it hurtful.
The problem is, her husband is not really a bad man. I know him personally, not too well, but I generally like him. Because he seems like a caring father and husband from what I see and from what my friend tells me about him. So it is not about someone being bad, it is just a lot of ignorance and culture pressure that make men behave aggressively to prove their manhood.
My other friend also talked about how her husband blamed her all the way for everything that went wrong in the bedroom.. and my other friend talked about her husband pleasure but never about her own, as if she didn't have the right to..
Really don't ask me why I know all of these stories, I never ask or even go there, it makes me so uncomfortable, but people just fu*king tell me about their s*xual lives! I swear I had colleagues whom I don't know well talking to me about it, and I had a WTF reaction on my face throughout the entire conversation... No idea why people open up to me about this shit 🤷♀️
But when they do, the things I hear are sometimes sad, disgusting, or shocking.. Like one friend of mine thought people have sex only on special occasions when she was in her late 20s, and she was sort of proud that she didn't have such knowledge before, because it proves how innocent she is..
I learned that many men in my society think it is insulting to wear a condom, because they think condoms are worn only by those who have adulterous relations..
And don't get me started on consent, and how many women in my society are convinced they have to be ready at all times, per his request, or else, they are bad wives, they are pushing him to cheat, and of course they are promised eternal damnation (as per religious sources)
Really people need to stop talking to me about this shit, because it leaves me with a feeling of disgust, especially when I feel that they don't see what's the big deal about it.
31-35, F
