I don't understand why my mom's really hurt that I'm not cis

People in public perceive me as male, and she says that hurts her feelings because she thinks they believe im ugly??? And shes saying that i should just "be a butchy lesbian" or "grow out my hair a little more" and just like, i am not a fucking woman and i wish she just understood.
I know i should share more but i feel like everytime i share with her she just gets upset at it. Idek what to do or think, or feel, idfk