People try to hurt others when they are hurting themselves

I can feel myself teetering on the edge too often than I care to admit. I have my reasons and I battle a lot of pain. It’s when you realize nobody cares, or there’s nobody to talk to that you start to wonder why you’re still holding onto the belief that your kindness will come back to you. The pain gets to you and you slowly lose people because they can’t deal with you, they’ve got their own lives. But was that ever fair? To be the one that was always there for others, then when you need them, they can’t deal with you. You feel like a monster and you hurt so bad but you’re stuck. Frozen.

I cry a lot. I hide from my son and cry. It’s all I’ve got. I still do kind things, but people just take advantage. You stop doing kind things and feel like a jerk, but how much can you give before you’re nothing?

People let the door slam on you and your kid.

I am hanging onto my heart, but sometimes I feel i could fall into the abyss. Sometimes I get so tired of people being shitty I give it back to them, but nobody sees why, they just see you lashing out, not knowing it was you trying to plead your case.

Sometimes I think it doesn’t matter at all. I’ve tried so hard and I will keep trying, but I do wonder if I’ll break before someone ever truly sees me and cares that I feel something gentle and sweet. I am losing hope.

I didn’t want it to be this way. I never imagined I would be this person. I don’t understand why I deserve this. That’s hard to hold in, to keep taking 😞