I experienced TRUST on a whole other level

Two weeks ago my buddy and his wife invited kids and I to their one daughter's 15th birthday celebration. This is the same couple who appointed me legal guardian of their eldest daughter, who was 13 at the time.

A day before the daughter's birthday, my buddy's wife and the eldest daughter (basically my adopted daughter) called me to the room. And the birthday girl was in the room too. The mom then said, in the presence of the already adopted daughter and the birthday girl, that she wanted to talk to me about appointing me the other daughter's legal guardian as well.

I was quite surprised, then my buddy also joins the conversation and confirms the same thing. Clearly they discussed it before... I then said if that is what they want to do, then they will have to trust me with their kids' lives.

The dad rolled his eyes and the mom laughed, saying that they ALREADY trust me with their kids' lives and the eldest is a perfect example thereof.

Anyway... so the day of the birthday, my twin daughters couldn't make it as they already had other plans, so it was just my son and I who were able to attend. And we stayed over since the party went on way into the night, until the early hours of the next morning.

It's nothing new for me to stay over (their home is my other home) so I decided to sleep on the adopted daughter's bed (drunk as hell lol). I then woke up the next morning to find my buddy's wife sleeping next to me 👀. I got up, went to the lounge and found our other buddy laying on the couch and he opened his eyes when I entered. I then checked on my buddy and found my son and his son sleeping on the bed next to my buddy lol.

I was hung over as hell, then just went to the toilet and went back to bed, with my buddy's wife still next to me.

I then later woke up and so did my buddy. He then opened an ice cold beer to cure our hangover's. We sat in the lounge with the other guy, and the three of us started trying to recall everything that happened the night before.

My buddy then said he doesn't even know where his wife is and I said "bro I woke up to find her sleeping next to me" and instead of the reaction most might expect, he just laughed and shook his head. He then said he recalled her saying that the bed was too cramped as my son and their son were still awake and playing games on their bed, then she got up and walked out the room. Just to come sleep next to me lol.

The room I slept in belongs to the adopted daughter and the 15 year old birthday girl, so there are two beds in the room. The daughter was on one and I slept on the other. The mom decided to sleep by me.

Now guys, if THAT isn't trust, then I don't know what it.

Then just last night I too had to sleep over there. My buddy and I had some beers yesterday and by 9pm we were both in our chops, so went to sleep.

I woke up to find it was just myself and the 15 year old daughter sleeping in the room. THAT TOO is another display of total trust. They clearly were not kidding when they said they trust me with their kids' lives.

And I know they would never have done the same with anyone else, as I recall times when the mom would say that other FAMILY members of their could not sleep in the girls' room.

If THAT too isn't total trust, then I don't now what it.

I feel so unexplainably honoured. Have you ever had a similar experience?

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JollyRoger · 70-79, M

Nah.... Nobody's ever trusted me THAT much! But: Does he really trust his wife? I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when everyone was sober.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Yeah he trusts her... but she doesnt trust him much though 🤣

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery Ah? So he's OK with giving her a 'pass' so he might get one - or not have to worry about one he's taken? Q: Is this family 'new' to you or is it 'old acquaintances'? Of course you seem to be a single parent for some reason.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger The family is not new to me.

Their oldest daughter and my twin daughters first met when they started grade 1 together back on primary school.

All 3 of them are 20 years old now...

She used to spend many weekends over at our place with my twins and my twins also spent many weekends over at her place.

I was not single back then. I was married to the twins' mom.

I am single now because my wife cheated on me with my cousin.

Anything else you want to know? lol

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery No....I hope you'll forgive me being so 'nosey'.... It's just that when I see inter-personal relationships that are truly 'weird'.... my mind goes into overdrive and needs to seek a reconciliative response. It's my problem... but I can't help it! So: Is he trying to set her up for his own benefit?

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Lol nah it's all good. And no, he isn't trying to set her up.

One time he had to go to his sister's funeral in a different province and was away for almost two weeks.

Our one buddy made a joke and said maybe he should come pop in to see if everything was alright with his wife and he shook his head and looked to me and said he wants me to be the one to pop in and check on the family.

So it's not like he would just trust anyone with his wife while he is not around.

I'm also the only guy his wife would let into the house whenever he is not around. And there have been many times when I popped in and he was not around.

There were also times when both of them would have to go somewhere and they would ask me to stay with the kids.

Oh and I wouldn't call it "weird" just because it's different to what you might be used to.

There was one comment the eldest daughter made twice, which kinda made me wonder what position she has found herself in...

One time I was home alone and went to get some things at the shop. As I returned and was walking down the road I live in, I noticed someone in the distance coming in the opposite direction and as I got closer I realised it was the eldest daughter (the one I was already appointed legal guardian of).

She was in her school uniform (she was on High School at the time) and I was wondering why she was not in school that time of the morning (it was just about 9am).

She then came inside with me and I asked her what was wrong and she said she needed to talk to me about something very personal. Now I can't share what it was she told me, but we literally spent hours talking... then she commented about how it is the one thing she likes about me is that I have never taken advantage of her... I was about to ask who did, but thought it was not a good time.

Another instance was some time earlier this year, when I made a visit and neither the mom or dad or anyone else was home at the time, but we were talking and she poured me a drink (already a legal adult). Then again she made the comment about how she likes that I am the one guy who never tried to take advantage of her... then I asked her if someone ever tried to, as it's the second time she brings it up and she just said there have been times, but nothing serious happened, so I didnt need to worry about it... I took her word for it as she would never hide anything serious away from me and believe me when I say that she would share ANYTHING with me.

Also about maybe 3 weeks ago, I was visiting on a Friday when both her dad and I had a day off and my kids were visiting their mom, it was a Friday night and she insisted she was going home with me to sleep over at my place. Neither the mom or dad protested and she then ordered an Uber and we left together. Her dad came around the next afternoon afternoon after he finished work and first had a beer with me, then we all left together for their place.

There are so many other stories I can share, but that would just end up being the longest damn comment you have probably ever read in your life 🤣.

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery After all that - I owe you an apology! I'm sorry I quizzed you up so much. Obviously you have earned this family's trust and that is something to be proud of and - like here - to share.
Another obvious thing is that they care about you and they care about your family (your twins). You are blessed.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger You're right about them caring. But that includes my son as well... yeah I have the twins and a younger son who turned 13 last month.

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery You didn't mention him in your writing. I did notice your post about watching a movie with him. I trust he's included in the 'extended' family dynamic.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Lol read again... I mentioned that I found my son and my buddy's son, sleeping net to my buddy lol

And yes he is certainly included of course lol. I just mentioned my twins more, to add context about how it all kinda began.

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery All good. I hope I didn't wear out your fingers with all the extra typing.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Nah no worries. Typing is just another part of my job 🤣

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery Hey.... I catch it that you're a Canadian?

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger No... LOL what gave you that idea?

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery You mentioned "Province" in one of your replies.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Lol observant... I'm from South Africa

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@iMystery Close??? Ah... but is that where you live? OR: Does South Africa refer to its regions as "Provinces"? We do in Canada.

iMystery · M

@JollyRoger Yes it's where I live and yes we refer to regions as Provinces. I guess it has something to do with the fact that, as with Canada, South Africa used to be under the queen's rule and that's when we started having Provinces.