High walls to keep people out = High walls to shut yourself in; don't fall into this trap!
I see a lot of people posting saying they can't and won't trust anyone after a betrayal, break-up or painful social incident. Its important to think about why you feel this way and think about how realist and harmful never trusting will be for your own mental health?
If you were hurt it is natural to withdraw; but focus on healing and learning. Maybe it was the other persons fault, maybe it was your own; usually it is a combination of both even if we refuse to acknowledge it
Look back at your past - is history repeating itself again and again. It is easy to get angry and blame everyone else; but not realistic. Learn from your mistakes and don't minimalise them - if you lie, get angry, lash out, sulk, etc then don't "play victim" you might fool others, but I don't think you fool yourself - it feeds into your future interactions and loops on repeat like a broken record player.
*Forgive yourself and forgive others. Anger never leads to happiness, let go of grudges and don't dig up fights and the past
*Say sorry and don't add a but at the end. Humility is growth
*If people reject you - don't hastle them - sincerely apologise and let them know the door is open
*If you reject people - don't ghost I sincerely believe this behaviour feeds itself - ghosting leads to ghosting
If you reject and the person wants to apologise/make amends = listen, give closure and if the friendship and relationship isn't healthy - part on good terms
*Make amends - you owe an apology when you are in the wrong not excuses and attacking - anger feeds anger
*Learn from a mistake - you have the ability to take a bad event and make a better future - ignorance is not bliss - it is a prison
If you feel the trust is lacking in your life. Change your circle. Don't base your friendships on online only friendships, online friends are a supplement and often can become an unstable, even toxic social network - real life friends don't: block, ghost, ignore, act indifferent. We see a human face, a human smile, a human tear and we feel it. On a screen it is harder; we become indifferent and it becomes easy to detach. We need the online world to be a tool, not a lifeline. By all means make an online friend; but if you can't/won't meet then it is that much harder to connect and that much easier to block.
We are all hurt at some point; healing and growth let us bloom to our true potential
If you were hurt it is natural to withdraw; but focus on healing and learning. Maybe it was the other persons fault, maybe it was your own; usually it is a combination of both even if we refuse to acknowledge it
Look back at your past - is history repeating itself again and again. It is easy to get angry and blame everyone else; but not realistic. Learn from your mistakes and don't minimalise them - if you lie, get angry, lash out, sulk, etc then don't "play victim" you might fool others, but I don't think you fool yourself - it feeds into your future interactions and loops on repeat like a broken record player.
*Forgive yourself and forgive others. Anger never leads to happiness, let go of grudges and don't dig up fights and the past
*Say sorry and don't add a but at the end. Humility is growth
*If people reject you - don't hastle them - sincerely apologise and let them know the door is open
*If you reject people - don't ghost I sincerely believe this behaviour feeds itself - ghosting leads to ghosting
If you reject and the person wants to apologise/make amends = listen, give closure and if the friendship and relationship isn't healthy - part on good terms
*Make amends - you owe an apology when you are in the wrong not excuses and attacking - anger feeds anger
*Learn from a mistake - you have the ability to take a bad event and make a better future - ignorance is not bliss - it is a prison
If you feel the trust is lacking in your life. Change your circle. Don't base your friendships on online only friendships, online friends are a supplement and often can become an unstable, even toxic social network - real life friends don't: block, ghost, ignore, act indifferent. We see a human face, a human smile, a human tear and we feel it. On a screen it is harder; we become indifferent and it becomes easy to detach. We need the online world to be a tool, not a lifeline. By all means make an online friend; but if you can't/won't meet then it is that much harder to connect and that much easier to block.
We are all hurt at some point; healing and growth let us bloom to our true potential
22-25, F
