I think I’m starting to hate my bf

So my bf has apple products. For those of you who know how iCloud works he has iMessage to send to his phone and tablet. He accuses me of currently reading his messages on one of his devices when he’s away from it, yet I’m not currently doing that. Sometimes he logs out of iMessage and randomly will log back in like a month later and I find that weird and suspicious. Like why are you randomly logging out when you use it? It is so I don’t happen to see anything? Guilty conscious? Anyway, I don’t feel comfortable with him logging out of it anymore even though I don’t read his messages. If he ever logs out of it again should I change my phone passcode as a way of getting back at him? Or is that being childish? Also, I would rather have him lock the iMessage app with a password instead of logging out cause I think logging out is just fishy. But should I even be okay with that too? If you have nothing to hide why be so private? What’s your thoughts.

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Jessmari · 41-45

@Fifidog You don't trust each other. Look, your already suspicious of each other's activities online. Yet, you've listed no other reason to have that suspicion. It's like you two are dragging the experiences of previous relationships into your own without just cause for it. If you can't let those experiences be in the past then It's going to undermine everything going forward.

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Fifidog · 26-30, F

@Jessmari good idea you can tell me what to say hahaha how much do you charge an hour lol

Jessmari · 41-45

@Fifidog This is team leader Homewrecker1. We have a fox in the hen house, repeat, There is a fox in the hen house! Shall we move to slap his hand or go straight for the frying pan toss? Please advise.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@Jessmari I am repeating “we have a fox in the hen house” haha

Jessmari · 41-45

Doesn't matter either way. It won't fix the real issues that are getting ignored.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

What do you think the real issue is? I feel like there’s some underlying issue too but I can’t pinpoint it. @Jessmari

BigAssLeech · 31-35, M

Girl you post this same thing like every day. It's very clear you aren't going to do anything about this situation one way or the other

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Fifidog · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl I guess nothing will change. What kind of boundaries can I set what should I say to him

HootyTheNightOwl

@Fifidog That is for you to decide - though... whatever you decide you want him to follow, you should be comfortable to live by, too.

Don't demand access to his messages unless you are prepared to give him exactly the same access to your messages.

Don't cut him off from his friends unless you're prepared to cut off your friends, too.

Most of all... don't get too restrictive unless you are prepared to lose him.

Relationships aren't easy, and with the introduction of email and the likes, you're going to have to learn to trust him much more than previous generations have because you're not going to get a "Dear John" letter on the doorstep. Sometimes, there can be legitimate reasons why he might be being secretive - and some girls have busted their upcoming engagements and holiday surprises by accusing their partner of having someone else on the go.

You definitely need to look at if you could be feeling insecure and how you could improve with that - is there anything he could do to help you out along the way???

Reading and demanding access to his messages is an invasion of privacy that I doubt many men would willingly accept just to put your mind at ease. If you can't reach a point where you can place your greatest fear in his hands and trust that he won't break your heart - then, is he really the man that you want to marry and grow old with???

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl that’s true I can’t trust someone like that with my heart

DownTheStreet · 56-60, M

Dump him

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