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Postscript Unconcluding Straight Pseudo Jibberish

The joy of attempting to communicate, or put into words what is verbal-less-ness inside is a challenge i hope never to tire of, i often say this will be it for today, and just as many times almost i will wish i didn't say that, but it's fun to break one's own rules, it's all a construct one plays with so that one doesn't ever emerge into the real world where real damage can be done.

Philosophy and the theoretcial can however fuel demonic things that help the world be a worse place to live in, but it would be pathetic and blind hubris to think my jibberish amounts to even a shadow of such a prominence.

Using big words in a childish way, one of my kinks

There are things you know that i leave out of my publick discourse, it's no one's business, and there's also the translation aspect from verbal-less-ness to a stunted awkward insufficient verbal-ness.

Blind spots -- full of them, i see them after i commit them, i have no desire to cover them up, it's a warts and all operation from the ground up, this is a shining principle so as to exploit and highlight and underline and yes glory in my faults, i'm so in love with my shortcomings, my failures, some day i might learn from them, but here's the thing, i will only learn from them when there is already a change, for improvement is not by rote, by memorizing a formula, it's a change deep deep inside.

Regarding Christianity, the bottom line is that there's supposed to be supernatural aid to live that life, perhaps i'm too muddle headed to catch what might be there, but my instincts is that it was a nice idea, Platonism for the masses as my ole pal Nietzsche would say.

Nietzsche and the merry band of thinkers i love, their time is on hold i daresay, i may dip into their cold refreshing waters periodically, but the bulk of time is FANTASY, and it is besides being great fun, a weapon, a good weapon against the stultifying deadness of a faith that just doesn't grant me as one of it's members, why would i want it to, i only am interested in it to such a dizzying degree because of dad, of life circumstances, real freedom as all veteran prisoners know is in the mind, the free mind who shan't venture out and make something of itself in the real world, ie: a prisoner, shall still sing the sound of music on Swiss hilltops without having to move a goddamned muscle.

 
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