Regarding that friend who said horrible things to me (vent)
I realise how I've grown since 7 years ago. I've developed what I call a healthy level of selfishness, or just a boundary in general concerning my responsibility for other people's actions and feelings.
I own what is mine and I make it right, and I'm careful with others, but anything past that is not my responsibility. I'll even offer context and closure but I won't take it on emotionally as I always stay true to my principles. I've decided to let that person go entirely, I've removed all contact.
I've had a couple of people tell me "I changed" or it's "the real me" when I get mad with them because they felt entitled and overly comfortable to push my boundary of responsibility or insult me, but no, my mood changed, people rarely ever see that because I'm usually so patient and I think about what I say. It's like it's so jarring to them that they don't know how to take it and think I'm being fake or something.
Suprisingly I'm a human being as well and I get mad when people get on their high horse when I've always been considerate to them. Yet when it comes to me they don't take my perspective into account, it's like they get so used to me being there for 'them' that they blur the boundary. It dissapoints me because there's been a couple of people I've put so much of my time into helping and being there for them.
This has only happened with about 3 people over many years and just with online friends (if you can call a couple of them that). But I've learned that I'll be there for people because that's what I do for my friends, but I'm not going to take on their BS. You have to do this if you're a very empathetic person, it's a tough lesson but you have to respect and love yourself as you do others.
rant over
I own what is mine and I make it right, and I'm careful with others, but anything past that is not my responsibility. I'll even offer context and closure but I won't take it on emotionally as I always stay true to my principles. I've decided to let that person go entirely, I've removed all contact.
I've had a couple of people tell me "I changed" or it's "the real me" when I get mad with them because they felt entitled and overly comfortable to push my boundary of responsibility or insult me, but no, my mood changed, people rarely ever see that because I'm usually so patient and I think about what I say. It's like it's so jarring to them that they don't know how to take it and think I'm being fake or something.
Suprisingly I'm a human being as well and I get mad when people get on their high horse when I've always been considerate to them. Yet when it comes to me they don't take my perspective into account, it's like they get so used to me being there for 'them' that they blur the boundary. It dissapoints me because there's been a couple of people I've put so much of my time into helping and being there for them.
This has only happened with about 3 people over many years and just with online friends (if you can call a couple of them that). But I've learned that I'll be there for people because that's what I do for my friends, but I'm not going to take on their BS. You have to do this if you're a very empathetic person, it's a tough lesson but you have to respect and love yourself as you do others.
rant over
