You are different. You are you. There are things you don’t like, things you do like. Things you want to do, things you don’t. Now people want you to do things as they do it, their way. So if you don’t do it their way they will ask you, “Why are you afraid of _____________?”(doing it their way). To which you may respond, “I’m not afraid, I just don’t like it, just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean I’m afraid.” And here comes the favorite line of peer pressure, “How do you know that you don’t like it, if you’ve never tried it, you don’t try it because you are afraid, and if you have tried it, then it is fear that keeps you from trying some more.” You may not like to eat tomatoes, does that mean you are afraid of tomatoes because you don’t like them? No. Some of us actually don’t like certain things, and no, it doesn’t mean we are afraid of it, it just isn’t our preference. If we get to the bottom of it everyone is afraid. Don’t criticize anyone for being afraid of anything. A degree of fear drives us, the possibility of negative consequences make us think twice before we act, or keeps us confined to trying to fulfill or exceed expectations to gain approval, validation, and help us keep our jobs. “Fear is a thought of anticipation, danger is a real thing, but fear is a choice!” Yeah, and you will take care of me if I get hurt right? We fear pain to our body where we become dependent on others, more-so than we would prefer. We fear negative consequences like jail so we follow the law when we pay our bills, taxes, and those who drive don’t speed. We fear being outcast or labeled as any derogatory word from A to Z so we try to look and act decent according to public opinion when we step outside our door. I get that we have to put thoughts aside that don’t help us get to where we want. What people don’t get is that someone may want something different than what most consider “optimal”, and to do it in a different way, because it is just who they are, not because they are afraid. So that line people use, “What are you afraid?”, is not what should drive us. When we do something we do it because it is what we prefer based on our options, we have a brain, we are at an age where we can note the possibly pleasing or painful consequences of our actions; according to us. If you criticize someone for being afraid, well then you are afraid of living like them. Ask questions instead. “You need to eat tomatoes! Why are you afraid of tomatoes?! You need to stop being a coward! Come on, try some!” Can be redirected to, “Why don’t you like tomatoes? I like them because they are juicy, have you tried them? You didn’t like them? Oh. Interesting how we all have different tastes huh?”
We may try all sorts of ways to get those close to us to be “independent” so they don’t burden us later on with anything. Be honest though. Don’t force anything, instead just say, “Look if you don’t do this, you are on your own, I’m not going to take care of you, so figure it out.” Don’t force anyone. In which case they will decide and think to themselves: A) I will do what they suggest. B. I will find my own way and prove them wrong, that my way can work, that I can survive and thrive (although it’s not so much about them, but for my own self). C) I’ll be homeless, in the streets, or worse and I know I can’t count on anyone. Got it!
*Stay true to you the best you can, don’t let peer pressure make you do something you don’t want to do, if you see a way that rings more true to who you are. You are brave. Look at all you’ve been through, all you’ve put up with, the self-control you’ve had to make it to where you are now! Look at you, you are alive! You are brave and strong. You are brave enough to do anything, there is nothing I think you can’t do, yet you are brave enough to stay true to yourself despite the chatter all around you, despite mine! You are someone to be proud of! Congratulations! 😊🥂🍾🎊🎉🙌😁👍😁👊👏👌✨⭐️🏋️♀️🥇🏆💝✅
