I don't want to go back into that hole I crawled out of

I hit the lights and sit in a dark room again
lights off listening to you again
dark thoughts have got me in the mood again
abused by you made me feel true again
It feels like living in sin again, but there's nobody here
but me again - sitting here on this cold concrete again
mind racing I just want to be me again
if I bash my head against the wall will I be free again
take this razor to my skin will I bleed again
And everything feels meaningless again...