There was so much light within this week. So much growth felt that I don’t think was possible a year ago.

But that’s not to say that the darkness didn’t exist tapping me on the shoulder here and there asking, “Can I have this dance?”

It was so hard to say no considering how often we’ve been partners in the past. …but I still managed to declined. The echo of his proposal lingered though simply because I was too worn down to shut off the comforting feeling of my hand fitting into his while he leads me away from the sometimes heaviness of thought and feeling.

Tonight as I try to release this week with every deep breath taken, I still feel his influence. The delusional “I can take care of you while the world fades away” knowing it would require a piece of my soul fading as well. Tonight I fight him off while trying to hold onto the peace I have to create myself within the soft, almost romantic chaos inside of me. My only saving grace is as I tire, so does he because without me he’s nothing. And there’s where I regain the power that I thought was lost to the weakness I don’t like to acknowledge.

I rest with the peace growing quieter by the minute, and so does he as the balance shifts back to me, where I hope it’ll fully be soon. But tomorrow we’ll begin again, both diligent in not giving up. The fight is that strong in us. …me.