Do you ever have days you feel grumpy and off?

I can't get the scowl off my face. I want to be left alone. I want to hide. On a mountain where people don't go. In a soft safe den. Without worry or work.

Sometimes I don't enjoy my existence. I understand why and there's nothing I can do about. So on occasion, when I have freedom to do what I want, I sulk.

I suppose it deserves its place. I don't expect people to be happy, I know nobody is happy all the time.

So maybe it's okay for me to just wither a bit in a day of morose. To honor my sadness and pain. To honor the days I see their faces in my mind, frozen cold, powdered, somewhere between the person I love and an unfamiliar face.

The sun always comes back out anyway. There's always a good reason to emerge.

Why be hard on myself for what I have endured that forever changed me? It is part of me now.

I welcome the darkness like I welcome the light. Complete and circumfluous.