I am the daughter of
A tree trimmer and the fourth wife of an older disabled american truck driver.. i have no children but he has six or so and i have never met them.. they are hateful for the most part and i am younger than some of them.. one is about my age and most of them have children.. they resent their father for not being there but from what i heard their mothers were ******** ******* anyway.. 😒
As for me my father was always there, overbearing and controlling and religious and arrogant .. ive heard of worse tho
I ran away.. for some reason my folks had taken a fancy to some guy they decided they had wanted me to marry.. i wanted no such thing.. "my type" was something else entirely.. not that they cared about my opinion.. so i left
Many times over and over again i ran away.. hence i ended up with said truck driver (it's a wonder i wasn't murdered somewhere) but anyway ..
Im watching a playlist of psalms in hebrew on YouTube.. been trying to learn hebrew ..
I learned recently that i had an abortion 20 years ago.. i didnt know.. a D&C they called it.. they didnt ask me.. if they had i would have said to hell with them.. my mom's friend had taken me to the hospital because i was bleeding to death or felt like it anyway.. she credits herself for saving my life.. idk tho..
Im not sure what the cause of the miscarriage was .. this or that.. could have been one cause or another .. all i knew is i had a ghost child and my imaginary child grew up in my mind... my now 19 year old.. imagine.. *sigh*
I of course imagined her to be beautiful.. tall slender wavy dark hair.. bright eyes.. outgoing personality.. she doesn't exist .. but i see her everywhere a resemblance of her exists in others passing through life in their own worlds and existence ..
Ive always been anti abortion.. i think abortionist are perverts and people who kill their own children don't deserve to have them
But such is life.. 🤐😳
If you live over the hill on the south side of Jerusalem then stop throwing your garbage out the window.. that's trashy behavior and disrespectful. (I saw it on a video the other day) i hate litter
When my dad was in Israel he went around cleaning up litter out of sites that were trashed..
I got over my phase of watching construction videos.. construction is a lot of work and cost a lot of money and or effort and time and materials which cost a lot these days.. transportation too
Lately the rise of terrorist is another issue.. their brainwashed psychopathic hatred and racism against jews and israel is toxic and they slander a lot and they dont care if they lie so long as it backs their cause which is also a lie
It makes me sad that they rush to death like morons.. i wish people would have a nice peaceful beautiful life but islam is a problem.. they condone rape and murder and genocide and slavery against others .. and they hate the west and israel .. what with white people aborting themselves and muslims multiplying like rabbits the scales will tip in numbers
But i believe in the God of Israel and Jesus Christ tho that's the christian version of his name .. i dont believe in the catholic church.. it's an evil greedy false religion of paganism but i'm a protestant christian that believes in the Jewish Messiah and that Jesus was the suffering servant.. i dont understand it or what it means but i know that God is love.. but he has rage too..
People go on and on about how crowded the world is, but it isn't.. only the cities are. The rest of the world is vast and empty and void of people and the people are concentrated into overcrowded cities and towns.. but the world is spacious
I dont believe in aliens in this universe.. i believe in spirits and God of course ..
I sent 100 strangers nudes when i was a young idiot.. if i could go back i wouldn't.. but i was dumb and vain and desperate to get away to be loved to whatever idk people are stupid sometimes .. i dont mind a ban on nudity and porn.. the world would be a better place without it.. do you know how many murderous rapist watch porn? All of them from what i heard.. people need to chill and preserve sanity and decency
It's hypocritical to hold high standards for others if you don't live up to them yourself .. so ..
Anyway God judges all.. there's a lot of sin in modern society and the more i hear about it and the problems and conflicts it causes the more i value traditional values and old fashioned ways.. they have their reasons and they work and the reason they are values..
So anyway seeing both sides i have to say crap is crap .. to hell with people from hell..
When this war started... it involved a few thousand people in a few tiny areas but it's spreading like a wildfire and will roar as such.. it may engulf the world soon.. as nations gear for war.. don't think it wont happen here, russia and china are already in cahoots with the terrorist and the terrorist are forcing themselves over the borders
The visuals on this videos are exceptionally btw.. there was a bombing in northern israel that killed 11 children playing soccer .. there's constant attacks from over the border .. i didn't watch the videos of that btw im watching videos of psalms set to music with beautiful nature background scenery.. i try to avoid horror videos..
For years now since the reformation of the country of Israel there have been constant attacks and murders and stabbings and kidnappings and crimes committed against her people .. and yet they live on.. happily for the most part.. such is life
I have sympathy for palistians but i have a problem with their hatred their murders and their intentions and attempts to annihilate israel.. because i love and support israel in her life and her rights to live in her country.. a country that should be far bigger than it is territory wise but the world and her enemies keep trying to squeeze her out..
Well i say No..
Say no to terrorist. Say no to Murder campaigns.. really the islamic terrorist are the ones plotting genocide against Israel. That's the truth and they constantly declare it.. yet they have the gall to accuse israel of it.. when they are the ones trying to accomplish it.. that's how shitty and twisted they are .. the islamic regime is bloody.. and they kill their neighbors.. not just the jews but anyone around them that isnt them and even some of their own as well..
So dont let them lie to you and tell you islam is peace.. because it's not, it's death and a bloody one at that..
Anyway i'm far far away but.. my heart is there.. and i wish it could stop.. idk if these are the wars of old foretold to come or if this is just a flicker of history.. but it seems to be looming towards a larger scale.. and i don't think i have enough ramen for a three year famine when all transport ceases due to a destructive world war..
But in other news my sister helped me set the roof panels back on the rafters after they blew off when the straps i had on them broke after a few months .. now i have them strapped down with fencing but.. that could break too .. i never screwed them down because i was afraid to go up there with my weight and the deteriorated condition of the roof boards .. i wished to avoid chances of injury..
Meanwhile there are maybe 111 hostages in Gaza and nobody outside knows how they are.. or how many are alive or if ... they will ever be seen again.. but their families and friends miss them their bf/gf(s) and spouses .. fathers and mothers and siblings and grandparents and grandchildren ..
Its been 300 days almost they have been gone.. taken.. by force..
I said i'd pray for them but i never did.. others did tho.. war looms on.. and.. are they making a deal? Should they??
I think sinwar is underground in israel digging for their nuclear warheads .. that's my conspiracy theory.. not that i know anything.. im just suspicious.. they have all those tunnels.. do you really think they stayed within the borders of gaza? I think not..
I went over the border of israel when i was there over the back of our apartment that bordered the arab side of Jerusalem.. i walked down the street in the middle of the night.. nobody was there.. i walked along the wall of concrete and wondered what it was for.. water ran down the valley down the middle of the deserted street.. i think the waterlines in israel were hacked in sabotage.. wasting water like that.. i never told anyone.. but now i know what the wall is for..
The next year an arab taxi driver picked me up and wanted to take me for tea.. i said ok.. a boy selling flowers by our old apartment glared at me i stared back defiantly .. anyway the old guy took me to the park and groped me .. he wanted to take me to Bethlehem for Christmas and to be one of his wives but i of course didnt agree.. i didnt trust him to bring me back.. i let him buy me soda and chocolate but i didnt let him take me home i didnt want him to know where i lived.. he kept wanting me to leave my dad's camera in his car but of course i wouldn't .. i think he just wanted to steal it.. this was a minolta film camera before the age of cellphones 20 years ago.. i used to have to go to a computer cafe to use the internet.. interesting place.. nobody needs them now what with wifi everywhere ..
I wish to demolish the mosque off the temple mount in jerusalem because the foundation belongs to the Jews and their temple and the mosque is an islamic offense against israel.. its in the way of the future temple.. idk why i bother because it's just a temporary temple.. the whole of jerusalem will be rebuilt and replaced someday .. so why am i so bent on clearing it? Sigh.. im just offended that the jews have suffered for so long with so many attacks and so many offenses against them and nobody does nothing but just accepts it.. well i don't accept it .. and i wish it would end (the attacks on the jews and their territories)
I like arabs and i think their culture is romantic and passionate .. i just wish they would follow the truth and jesus instead of their perverted murderous racist mohamed who was from the devil.. islamist are not unlike nazis in that they are racist murderers and genocidal against jews and others .. and i dont condone their attacks.. i fear they will continue to escalate tho. Sadly.. to their own deaths.. but Israel will live on forever beyond their dreams. That's all.
My own dream is to clean my house and grow a fig tree and a pomegranate tree and a mulberry tree and to bake and play the piano and sing and sew dresses and coats and weave fabric and to build houses.. i know it's hard work but im very into it.. but if i were to dream unrealistically then i'd dream of a small stone house overlooking the sea.. and my bakery slush shop filled with singers and singing and a garden.. of course 🙂
Im watching people dance.. on YouTube which i play on our wall mounted tv.. it's only 48" or so or 52 idk but our house is small.. so it's big enough ..
I used to be 98 lbs when i was a teen.. then when i was twenty some i was 102.. but now im 177 or so lbs and i was horrified for awhile but i accepted it.. so i'm an old fat lady now and my hair is turning gray.. my #1 crush never liked me and the others also ran away and my husband is a part time jerk but maybe i like him that way, irritating..
I blame biden for all these wars and attacks on israel because he released the terrorist and he released funds to them as well.. islamic terrorist .. i have to say islamic because they keep gaslighting israel and calling her the terrorist.. well maybe israel kills a lot of terrorist but can you really blame someone for fighting someone who is trying to kill you and your entire family and country?? Really
So anyway.. such is life.. such disrespect such immorality such crimes
But i believe in God.. i dont understand why people are so shitty and if God controls everything then why did he create evil?? Before Israel was ever born God knew they would be slaves in Egypt.. so why does he know thing and let it?? Because it was our choice to know evil?? Or Eve's.. but why does it exist in the first place??
Evil in life .. this life. Anyway I'm tired
Peace and flowers to everyone void of evil intentions.. and sorry to the rest of you. Bye
There's a guy singing who reminds me of a pastor's son in israel.. i didn't know him but this elderly lady did.. she said "there goes jamie with his hair blowing in the wind" i think she liked him.. she's gone now.. died a few years ago.. her favorite color was red.. the church was in the basement of the mall.. it was a large church.. when my sister and i first went there we didn't know where it was.. so we asked the guards... it's right here they said.. we were standing right in front of the doors.. we didn't know.. didn't read i guess.. maybe it wasn't in english idk but i always remembered how silly we were.. asking directions for a place we were standing right in front of.. we really didn't know.. the guards were nice tho.. friendly and helpful 😅
I haven't been to church in years.. last time i went to church i think i told the local pastor's wife that i was having an online affair because i was baby crazy and wanted children at the time (im over all that now but at the time i was struggling with life and self hate and what not) anyway.. i told some other friends of my family's too.. not doubt she thinks ill of me now but that cant be helped.. i just didn't want to pretend i was fine when i wasn't.. i was having problems.. i don't care for false pretentious people and i don't want to be one.. i like loyalty and honesty .. but if you can't be one at least be the other imo (if you cant be loyal at least be honest) so anyway..
Yeah..
Maybe a horrifying concept but whatever .. not like anyone reads this.. right? 😳😬😏
As for me my father was always there, overbearing and controlling and religious and arrogant .. ive heard of worse tho
I ran away.. for some reason my folks had taken a fancy to some guy they decided they had wanted me to marry.. i wanted no such thing.. "my type" was something else entirely.. not that they cared about my opinion.. so i left
Many times over and over again i ran away.. hence i ended up with said truck driver (it's a wonder i wasn't murdered somewhere) but anyway ..
Im watching a playlist of psalms in hebrew on YouTube.. been trying to learn hebrew ..
I learned recently that i had an abortion 20 years ago.. i didnt know.. a D&C they called it.. they didnt ask me.. if they had i would have said to hell with them.. my mom's friend had taken me to the hospital because i was bleeding to death or felt like it anyway.. she credits herself for saving my life.. idk tho..
Im not sure what the cause of the miscarriage was .. this or that.. could have been one cause or another .. all i knew is i had a ghost child and my imaginary child grew up in my mind... my now 19 year old.. imagine.. *sigh*
I of course imagined her to be beautiful.. tall slender wavy dark hair.. bright eyes.. outgoing personality.. she doesn't exist .. but i see her everywhere a resemblance of her exists in others passing through life in their own worlds and existence ..
Ive always been anti abortion.. i think abortionist are perverts and people who kill their own children don't deserve to have them
But such is life.. 🤐😳
If you live over the hill on the south side of Jerusalem then stop throwing your garbage out the window.. that's trashy behavior and disrespectful. (I saw it on a video the other day) i hate litter
When my dad was in Israel he went around cleaning up litter out of sites that were trashed..
I got over my phase of watching construction videos.. construction is a lot of work and cost a lot of money and or effort and time and materials which cost a lot these days.. transportation too
Lately the rise of terrorist is another issue.. their brainwashed psychopathic hatred and racism against jews and israel is toxic and they slander a lot and they dont care if they lie so long as it backs their cause which is also a lie
It makes me sad that they rush to death like morons.. i wish people would have a nice peaceful beautiful life but islam is a problem.. they condone rape and murder and genocide and slavery against others .. and they hate the west and israel .. what with white people aborting themselves and muslims multiplying like rabbits the scales will tip in numbers
But i believe in the God of Israel and Jesus Christ tho that's the christian version of his name .. i dont believe in the catholic church.. it's an evil greedy false religion of paganism but i'm a protestant christian that believes in the Jewish Messiah and that Jesus was the suffering servant.. i dont understand it or what it means but i know that God is love.. but he has rage too..
People go on and on about how crowded the world is, but it isn't.. only the cities are. The rest of the world is vast and empty and void of people and the people are concentrated into overcrowded cities and towns.. but the world is spacious
I dont believe in aliens in this universe.. i believe in spirits and God of course ..
I sent 100 strangers nudes when i was a young idiot.. if i could go back i wouldn't.. but i was dumb and vain and desperate to get away to be loved to whatever idk people are stupid sometimes .. i dont mind a ban on nudity and porn.. the world would be a better place without it.. do you know how many murderous rapist watch porn? All of them from what i heard.. people need to chill and preserve sanity and decency
It's hypocritical to hold high standards for others if you don't live up to them yourself .. so ..
Anyway God judges all.. there's a lot of sin in modern society and the more i hear about it and the problems and conflicts it causes the more i value traditional values and old fashioned ways.. they have their reasons and they work and the reason they are values..
So anyway seeing both sides i have to say crap is crap .. to hell with people from hell..
When this war started... it involved a few thousand people in a few tiny areas but it's spreading like a wildfire and will roar as such.. it may engulf the world soon.. as nations gear for war.. don't think it wont happen here, russia and china are already in cahoots with the terrorist and the terrorist are forcing themselves over the borders
The visuals on this videos are exceptionally btw.. there was a bombing in northern israel that killed 11 children playing soccer .. there's constant attacks from over the border .. i didn't watch the videos of that btw im watching videos of psalms set to music with beautiful nature background scenery.. i try to avoid horror videos..
For years now since the reformation of the country of Israel there have been constant attacks and murders and stabbings and kidnappings and crimes committed against her people .. and yet they live on.. happily for the most part.. such is life
I have sympathy for palistians but i have a problem with their hatred their murders and their intentions and attempts to annihilate israel.. because i love and support israel in her life and her rights to live in her country.. a country that should be far bigger than it is territory wise but the world and her enemies keep trying to squeeze her out..
Well i say No..
Say no to terrorist. Say no to Murder campaigns.. really the islamic terrorist are the ones plotting genocide against Israel. That's the truth and they constantly declare it.. yet they have the gall to accuse israel of it.. when they are the ones trying to accomplish it.. that's how shitty and twisted they are .. the islamic regime is bloody.. and they kill their neighbors.. not just the jews but anyone around them that isnt them and even some of their own as well..
So dont let them lie to you and tell you islam is peace.. because it's not, it's death and a bloody one at that..
Anyway i'm far far away but.. my heart is there.. and i wish it could stop.. idk if these are the wars of old foretold to come or if this is just a flicker of history.. but it seems to be looming towards a larger scale.. and i don't think i have enough ramen for a three year famine when all transport ceases due to a destructive world war..
But in other news my sister helped me set the roof panels back on the rafters after they blew off when the straps i had on them broke after a few months .. now i have them strapped down with fencing but.. that could break too .. i never screwed them down because i was afraid to go up there with my weight and the deteriorated condition of the roof boards .. i wished to avoid chances of injury..
Meanwhile there are maybe 111 hostages in Gaza and nobody outside knows how they are.. or how many are alive or if ... they will ever be seen again.. but their families and friends miss them their bf/gf(s) and spouses .. fathers and mothers and siblings and grandparents and grandchildren ..
Its been 300 days almost they have been gone.. taken.. by force..
I said i'd pray for them but i never did.. others did tho.. war looms on.. and.. are they making a deal? Should they??
I think sinwar is underground in israel digging for their nuclear warheads .. that's my conspiracy theory.. not that i know anything.. im just suspicious.. they have all those tunnels.. do you really think they stayed within the borders of gaza? I think not..
I went over the border of israel when i was there over the back of our apartment that bordered the arab side of Jerusalem.. i walked down the street in the middle of the night.. nobody was there.. i walked along the wall of concrete and wondered what it was for.. water ran down the valley down the middle of the deserted street.. i think the waterlines in israel were hacked in sabotage.. wasting water like that.. i never told anyone.. but now i know what the wall is for..
The next year an arab taxi driver picked me up and wanted to take me for tea.. i said ok.. a boy selling flowers by our old apartment glared at me i stared back defiantly .. anyway the old guy took me to the park and groped me .. he wanted to take me to Bethlehem for Christmas and to be one of his wives but i of course didnt agree.. i didnt trust him to bring me back.. i let him buy me soda and chocolate but i didnt let him take me home i didnt want him to know where i lived.. he kept wanting me to leave my dad's camera in his car but of course i wouldn't .. i think he just wanted to steal it.. this was a minolta film camera before the age of cellphones 20 years ago.. i used to have to go to a computer cafe to use the internet.. interesting place.. nobody needs them now what with wifi everywhere ..
I wish to demolish the mosque off the temple mount in jerusalem because the foundation belongs to the Jews and their temple and the mosque is an islamic offense against israel.. its in the way of the future temple.. idk why i bother because it's just a temporary temple.. the whole of jerusalem will be rebuilt and replaced someday .. so why am i so bent on clearing it? Sigh.. im just offended that the jews have suffered for so long with so many attacks and so many offenses against them and nobody does nothing but just accepts it.. well i don't accept it .. and i wish it would end (the attacks on the jews and their territories)
I like arabs and i think their culture is romantic and passionate .. i just wish they would follow the truth and jesus instead of their perverted murderous racist mohamed who was from the devil.. islamist are not unlike nazis in that they are racist murderers and genocidal against jews and others .. and i dont condone their attacks.. i fear they will continue to escalate tho. Sadly.. to their own deaths.. but Israel will live on forever beyond their dreams. That's all.
My own dream is to clean my house and grow a fig tree and a pomegranate tree and a mulberry tree and to bake and play the piano and sing and sew dresses and coats and weave fabric and to build houses.. i know it's hard work but im very into it.. but if i were to dream unrealistically then i'd dream of a small stone house overlooking the sea.. and my bakery slush shop filled with singers and singing and a garden.. of course 🙂
Im watching people dance.. on YouTube which i play on our wall mounted tv.. it's only 48" or so or 52 idk but our house is small.. so it's big enough ..
I used to be 98 lbs when i was a teen.. then when i was twenty some i was 102.. but now im 177 or so lbs and i was horrified for awhile but i accepted it.. so i'm an old fat lady now and my hair is turning gray.. my #1 crush never liked me and the others also ran away and my husband is a part time jerk but maybe i like him that way, irritating..
I blame biden for all these wars and attacks on israel because he released the terrorist and he released funds to them as well.. islamic terrorist .. i have to say islamic because they keep gaslighting israel and calling her the terrorist.. well maybe israel kills a lot of terrorist but can you really blame someone for fighting someone who is trying to kill you and your entire family and country?? Really
So anyway.. such is life.. such disrespect such immorality such crimes
But i believe in God.. i dont understand why people are so shitty and if God controls everything then why did he create evil?? Before Israel was ever born God knew they would be slaves in Egypt.. so why does he know thing and let it?? Because it was our choice to know evil?? Or Eve's.. but why does it exist in the first place??
Evil in life .. this life. Anyway I'm tired
Peace and flowers to everyone void of evil intentions.. and sorry to the rest of you. Bye
There's a guy singing who reminds me of a pastor's son in israel.. i didn't know him but this elderly lady did.. she said "there goes jamie with his hair blowing in the wind" i think she liked him.. she's gone now.. died a few years ago.. her favorite color was red.. the church was in the basement of the mall.. it was a large church.. when my sister and i first went there we didn't know where it was.. so we asked the guards... it's right here they said.. we were standing right in front of the doors.. we didn't know.. didn't read i guess.. maybe it wasn't in english idk but i always remembered how silly we were.. asking directions for a place we were standing right in front of.. we really didn't know.. the guards were nice tho.. friendly and helpful 😅
I haven't been to church in years.. last time i went to church i think i told the local pastor's wife that i was having an online affair because i was baby crazy and wanted children at the time (im over all that now but at the time i was struggling with life and self hate and what not) anyway.. i told some other friends of my family's too.. not doubt she thinks ill of me now but that cant be helped.. i just didn't want to pretend i was fine when i wasn't.. i was having problems.. i don't care for false pretentious people and i don't want to be one.. i like loyalty and honesty .. but if you can't be one at least be the other imo (if you cant be loyal at least be honest) so anyway..
Yeah..
Maybe a horrifying concept but whatever .. not like anyone reads this.. right? 😳😬😏
