I Support Children's Rights
[b]I've never had reason to collate the following into a single document before, but since I now have and it's already typed up I thought I might as well post it here in the hope that it's useful to someone else.
By way of a bit of background - ever since I realised the consequences of the abuse I suffered as a child I've made it my business to offer parental love and support to younger abuse survivors and this is a summary of just some of the things that were stolen from them as children and which they have every right to expect from me.[/b]
[b][c=#BF0000]The right of a child. Anyone's child.[/c][/b]
1. When a good parent gets a new child new love grows. None of the love for older children is lost or changed, the new love belongs exclusively to the new child and it's tailored to that child's specific needs and no other.
2. Every child has the right to be loved every bit as much as the others and to claim it just as fiercely as the one who came first. No two children are ever the same, but no favouritism should ever be allowed to distinguish them.
3. The child is the owner of the love that's been given to them - not the parent. It's not given for today or for as long as the parent lives, it's the child's to hold on to and cherish and to one day pass on to their own children and grandchildren for ever.
4. The child has certain automatic rights concerning the love they've been given. They have the right to talk about it to anyone they want in anyway they see fit. They have a right to believe in it's value and protect or defend it and they also have a right to expect others to respect it.
5. The child also has the right to expect the love they receive to change according to circumstances. No matter how old you get you'll always be a child to me, but that doesn't mean we'll always talk the way we do now. Right now this love is still a new thing for you so it's entirely appropriate that as well as tell you about it I also explain it... where it comes from and why I feel the way I do etc. But one day all that sort of knowledge will be so ingrained in you that you won't need the explanations any more, just the occasional pointer towards how to deal with a situation you haven't encountered before. By that point you'll truly have become a real adult yourself and might even find brand new ways of doing things that I can't even imagine. The changes between us may be so subtle that you barely notice them - but one day I'll be just as confident in your abilities as I am with my older children and that's bound to show one way or another. In the meantime, whatever age you feel the need to be in order to talk about the things you need to know that is the age you should be. It makes not the slightest bit of difference to me whether you're six sixteen twenty six or fifty. I feel like I've already loved you at every age you've ever been anyway.
6. One of the most important rights a child has is the right to dream. Even the right to dream impossible dreams. So many kids regularly have their hopes and dreams crushed by stupid parents who ought to know better that I despair some days. If everyone thought that way nobody would ever look at a BMX rider or a top actor and dream of becoming like them one day. The world would become a cold bitter place filled with downtrodden under-achieving people. But if you actually encourage your kid to dream of better things and teach them how to reach for the stars anything becomes possible. New sports records will be set on a regular basis, new discoveries will be made every day, and all because a parent had the foresight to realise that no matter how good they are at something a child who has a better start in life will always be able to do it even better with their help. It doesn't matter what the ambition is. Some will want to be doctors and nurses, some will become engineers or teachers or athletes, or even just one day the head of a family in which every one of their offspring feels safe and secure. They say that hope was the last thing to come out of Pandora's box. And daring to dream and showing a child how to work towards their dream goes hand in glove with hope as being one of the finest gifts you can give to any child.
By way of a bit of background - ever since I realised the consequences of the abuse I suffered as a child I've made it my business to offer parental love and support to younger abuse survivors and this is a summary of just some of the things that were stolen from them as children and which they have every right to expect from me.[/b]
[b][c=#BF0000]The right of a child. Anyone's child.[/c][/b]
1. When a good parent gets a new child new love grows. None of the love for older children is lost or changed, the new love belongs exclusively to the new child and it's tailored to that child's specific needs and no other.
2. Every child has the right to be loved every bit as much as the others and to claim it just as fiercely as the one who came first. No two children are ever the same, but no favouritism should ever be allowed to distinguish them.
3. The child is the owner of the love that's been given to them - not the parent. It's not given for today or for as long as the parent lives, it's the child's to hold on to and cherish and to one day pass on to their own children and grandchildren for ever.
4. The child has certain automatic rights concerning the love they've been given. They have the right to talk about it to anyone they want in anyway they see fit. They have a right to believe in it's value and protect or defend it and they also have a right to expect others to respect it.
5. The child also has the right to expect the love they receive to change according to circumstances. No matter how old you get you'll always be a child to me, but that doesn't mean we'll always talk the way we do now. Right now this love is still a new thing for you so it's entirely appropriate that as well as tell you about it I also explain it... where it comes from and why I feel the way I do etc. But one day all that sort of knowledge will be so ingrained in you that you won't need the explanations any more, just the occasional pointer towards how to deal with a situation you haven't encountered before. By that point you'll truly have become a real adult yourself and might even find brand new ways of doing things that I can't even imagine. The changes between us may be so subtle that you barely notice them - but one day I'll be just as confident in your abilities as I am with my older children and that's bound to show one way or another. In the meantime, whatever age you feel the need to be in order to talk about the things you need to know that is the age you should be. It makes not the slightest bit of difference to me whether you're six sixteen twenty six or fifty. I feel like I've already loved you at every age you've ever been anyway.
6. One of the most important rights a child has is the right to dream. Even the right to dream impossible dreams. So many kids regularly have their hopes and dreams crushed by stupid parents who ought to know better that I despair some days. If everyone thought that way nobody would ever look at a BMX rider or a top actor and dream of becoming like them one day. The world would become a cold bitter place filled with downtrodden under-achieving people. But if you actually encourage your kid to dream of better things and teach them how to reach for the stars anything becomes possible. New sports records will be set on a regular basis, new discoveries will be made every day, and all because a parent had the foresight to realise that no matter how good they are at something a child who has a better start in life will always be able to do it even better with their help. It doesn't matter what the ambition is. Some will want to be doctors and nurses, some will become engineers or teachers or athletes, or even just one day the head of a family in which every one of their offspring feels safe and secure. They say that hope was the last thing to come out of Pandora's box. And daring to dream and showing a child how to work towards their dream goes hand in glove with hope as being one of the finest gifts you can give to any child.
70-79, M
