What does this this site provide you that your real life relationships do not?

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What does this website offer that your spouse, lover, family, or friends cannot or will not provide?

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Loretta78 · 46-50, F

This is a really good question - probably the best question I‘ve read in months.

You know, the thing is this:

I never found a friend in real life. Not one single time.
And there was also never a partner in my life who loved me.
I am not sure why, but probably it’s because I don’t look nice like other women.

And online it is the only possibility for me to have social contacts. Here I have found two very good longterm-friends. The one has left after six years, but the other one is still there. And I am so grateful for it because I know when I never had a friend in real life this also will not happen in future.

And this my friebdship here is the only thing what I can call still a little bit „quality of life.“

Renkon · 41-45, M

@Loretta78 It's wonderful to know you have found true friendship here.
If I may ask, why you think looking like others is a pre-requisite to a friendship?

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Renkon I just think that the appearance, how someone looks like, is a factor too, to find social contacts. And my appearance is definetely something like zero - so as some people have told me too.

Or why else I never could find a friendship in the last 25 years?

Well, I don’t make a drama about it because I am used to this hard fact now.

But that’s probably the reason why I find friendship only on social websites: Because the people don‘ t know how I look like.

Renkon · 41-45, M

@Loretta78I never thought appearance was crucial in friendship. For me, the exuberant feeling that a person's presence gives me is what makes them attractive.

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Renkon Well, that’s what many people say. But in real there‘s a big difference. 😞

However: Now you know what this site gives to me what real life cannot. 😃

Renkon · 41-45, M

@Loretta78 Yes I understand.

In college, I had a friend. She was a shy person. She didn't think she was attractive enough to fit in with the others. She avoided social gatherings and declined to participate in group photos. I was the only person she socialized with. I thought she was a wonderful lady.

I still don't get why appearances matter in friendship. 🤔

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Renkon That’s great with your friend in college! 👍

I also don’t get it… but things are as they are. 🤷‍♀️

You know what I also never will forget?

Years ago I still made the mistake to believe that appearance is not everything.

And so I‘ve sent my photo to two online friends I had years ago here. They asked me for a photo to know how I look like and I wanted to do them a favour and I trusted them.

But I swear: In the moment they saw how I look like BOTH of them disappeared immediately and never came back. The one after three months daily communication and friendship, the other one after 9 months daily communication and friendship.

But in all those years I have learned and now I am not more THAT naive.

Renkon · 41-45, M

@Loretta78m' sorry you had a negative experience. I don't believe they were real friends. A good friend is first and foremost a good human being.

Your experience has served as a wake-up call. So I entirely understand your feelings on the role of appearance.

Next time, I hope you find the right person.

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Renkon Well, those experiences were good teachings and - as you said - a wake-up call for me.

And as I said: I have found two longterm-friendships here: The first one lasted 6 years, the other one I am still having, and I am very, very grateful for it. 🙂