I Am Fascinated By Human Behavior
Girls are funny. The ones who are looking for a "nice guy," but go for the guy who approaches them like prince charming. Not that I find it funny the way boys just whimsically flirt with girls like it means nothing, or that I think it's acceptable to have your heartbroken because you really thought he cared. I hate the natural dynamic between males and females, after all, when the first guy approaches you, you feel like he chose you, like he made a decision to start something with you, but then you find out what's making his decisions for him.
I don't really find any part of it funny or amusing, but when a girl who's already experienced how fleeting a boy's affection is, goes out with another confident guy hoping he'll be different... I just shake me head. Why? Because nice guys don't often approach a girl like that. Nice guys observe before they speak up about their feelings; they make sure that they CAN like you before they tell you, and sometimes they never have the confidence to create an opportunity where they can tell you. They don't have the masculine confidence you seem to be so turned on by, because they haven't been playing the field and learning how to be a playa like the other guys you've been going out with. But you won't fall for one of those nervous, awkward guys. Why? Beats me. Probably beats you, too. We don't know why we like the things we do, we just do. And that's exactly why we should question that, because how can we make the best decision for ourselves if we don't even know why we're attracted to the things we are? Or if we don't know what the things we're attracted to will result in?
I'm writing this from the perspective of—at least what I like to think of—as a nice guy. I watched you all participate with your love games in high school, but I've never known another person's touch. A couple of online relationships have crept up on me unexpectedly, with girls who realize that maybe me not being a man's man could actually be an okay thing... 'cause I'm still talking them after 2 years, meanwhile they've cycled through 5 boyfriends, ...so maybe I'm worth a try. But there's no trying to me. Unfortunately I've lost 2 very good friends because it turned into more and we couldn't go back. But I learned how seriously I need to take heartbreak at all times. I'm aware now. I either know you're not going to work for me, I'm not sure so I want to learn more, or I straight up know you'll be worth any mountain we have to climb. When I choose you, I am also very consciously choosing ONLY you, and I can't have a doubt that I'll ever leave you, otherwise I won't tell you how I feel.
I'm not here to tell you that I'm a perfect lover, or that I know how to do it better than everyone else. All I'm saying, is that if a love like mine is the one you want to find, then don't go out with the guys who ask a different girl every weekend... or at the very least, don't expect them to be the "nice guy" you're looking for, when what you're looking for is commitment.
But on a sadder note, I used to wish for the girl who would approach me. I feel more like a girl than a guy for the most part, and having someone cross the room for me would have set my world on fire. So I do understand how appealing it sounds and how you can get swept off in the moment. But there was only one girl who ever did approach me like that, and it was nothing like I expected. I realized that the girl who would cross the room for me, was a very experienced girl indeed, and that I wasn't likely to be approached by a sweet introspect in a society that teaches girls to wait for the guy to approach. I'm really sorry to say, but for you sweet angels who just want to be loved, it won't happen like magic. He won't sweep you up in his arms all at once, and he'll probably be just as shy as you are. He'll probably be off in the corner, observing you, but it will seem like he's never looking because one look is all it takes to keep his heart chiming for 5 minutes before he's tempted to look again.
I'm writing this for both you and him. There's lots of nice guys who will love you more than you've ever felt, they just start out really shy and awkward. Not being approached doesn't mean people don't think you're beautiful, the most beautiful people have the loudest thoughts, but the quietest voices, and you have to take the time to understand their mind before you'll understand how beautiful they think you are.
Find someone who'll treat you how you deserve, and you deserve to feel irreplaceable. Now open your eyes and look at all the people you didn't notice XD Maybe one of them could hold your heart for forever.
I don't really find any part of it funny or amusing, but when a girl who's already experienced how fleeting a boy's affection is, goes out with another confident guy hoping he'll be different... I just shake me head. Why? Because nice guys don't often approach a girl like that. Nice guys observe before they speak up about their feelings; they make sure that they CAN like you before they tell you, and sometimes they never have the confidence to create an opportunity where they can tell you. They don't have the masculine confidence you seem to be so turned on by, because they haven't been playing the field and learning how to be a playa like the other guys you've been going out with. But you won't fall for one of those nervous, awkward guys. Why? Beats me. Probably beats you, too. We don't know why we like the things we do, we just do. And that's exactly why we should question that, because how can we make the best decision for ourselves if we don't even know why we're attracted to the things we are? Or if we don't know what the things we're attracted to will result in?
I'm writing this from the perspective of—at least what I like to think of—as a nice guy. I watched you all participate with your love games in high school, but I've never known another person's touch. A couple of online relationships have crept up on me unexpectedly, with girls who realize that maybe me not being a man's man could actually be an okay thing... 'cause I'm still talking them after 2 years, meanwhile they've cycled through 5 boyfriends, ...so maybe I'm worth a try. But there's no trying to me. Unfortunately I've lost 2 very good friends because it turned into more and we couldn't go back. But I learned how seriously I need to take heartbreak at all times. I'm aware now. I either know you're not going to work for me, I'm not sure so I want to learn more, or I straight up know you'll be worth any mountain we have to climb. When I choose you, I am also very consciously choosing ONLY you, and I can't have a doubt that I'll ever leave you, otherwise I won't tell you how I feel.
I'm not here to tell you that I'm a perfect lover, or that I know how to do it better than everyone else. All I'm saying, is that if a love like mine is the one you want to find, then don't go out with the guys who ask a different girl every weekend... or at the very least, don't expect them to be the "nice guy" you're looking for, when what you're looking for is commitment.
But on a sadder note, I used to wish for the girl who would approach me. I feel more like a girl than a guy for the most part, and having someone cross the room for me would have set my world on fire. So I do understand how appealing it sounds and how you can get swept off in the moment. But there was only one girl who ever did approach me like that, and it was nothing like I expected. I realized that the girl who would cross the room for me, was a very experienced girl indeed, and that I wasn't likely to be approached by a sweet introspect in a society that teaches girls to wait for the guy to approach. I'm really sorry to say, but for you sweet angels who just want to be loved, it won't happen like magic. He won't sweep you up in his arms all at once, and he'll probably be just as shy as you are. He'll probably be off in the corner, observing you, but it will seem like he's never looking because one look is all it takes to keep his heart chiming for 5 minutes before he's tempted to look again.
I'm writing this for both you and him. There's lots of nice guys who will love you more than you've ever felt, they just start out really shy and awkward. Not being approached doesn't mean people don't think you're beautiful, the most beautiful people have the loudest thoughts, but the quietest voices, and you have to take the time to understand their mind before you'll understand how beautiful they think you are.
Find someone who'll treat you how you deserve, and you deserve to feel irreplaceable. Now open your eyes and look at all the people you didn't notice XD Maybe one of them could hold your heart for forever.
26-30, M
