What if you can't have empathy unless there's some sad music playing in the background?

I actually do need to play a sad song or did when some of my relatives died. Most of them were idiots so I really can't turn on the Waterworks so easy... I like music that makes me kind of think of them as dumb animals that died getting hit by a car or something like Lassie.. then I could walk into the funeral Paula pretending like I'm not going to be looking at some nice cousins ass