Am I just lonely?

My ex/son's dad and I have been split for a few years now. Lately I've been really bummed with life and thinking about him. Mostly because he is still my friend and the only one I want to be around, the only one who listens, who cares, who is supportive and accepting. He still annoys the shit out of me, but life with him wasn't all that bad. I don't dare say a word because I wonder if I'm just lonely and I trust him. On the other hand, I'm lonely and I trust him... I'm so confused why I feel this way about him.

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SW-User

How did he lose your trust the first time?

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User he didn't. We're just very different. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. In the end he just moved out because there was tension. We never hated each other. Never got mad.

SW-User

@StokedFox I'm rooting for you to give him a second chance.

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User I'm afraid if it starts to feel like it did before and we split again, it'll be worse for our son. Plus I don't know if he'd even take me back. I don't know :(

SW-User

@StokedFox You think too much. But I appreciate you're protecting your son's heart.

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User and my ex's too. I don't want to hurt him all over again. It's always best if I just keep quiet and suffer. Keeps things simple.

SW-User

@StokedFox It almost sounds like you're controlling everything. That's not good either.

StokedFox · 36-40, F

@SW-User I have no control. Over anything. I just protect.