Am I normal?

My money was stolen by a hospital cleaner on Sunday. The theif was identified by cctv footage. Howeverwhen they went to his house he had done a runner and his family seemed really distraught with the police turning up on their door.

The hospital today reimbursed me my money saying they will recover from his parents. I felt this sharp pang of pain in my heart thinking what the family must be going through because of his wrong doing. Apparently his mum was crying loads.
I've come home with a very heavy heart thinking I shouldn't have taken my money back.

Is this normal. I feel terrible😢

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Serenitree · F

This is a kind heart who cares. Not abnormal at all, but kind of self defeating. You were robbed. The hospital,did right by reimbursing you, but going after his family is simply wrong. If he's an adult, not a minor, the family is, in no way, responsible for making restitution for his crime.

Feel bad? Sure. It's a sad situation, but remember, you didn't do anything to feel guilty about. He did...the hospital,will, if they persecute his family for his wrong doing. You're the victim here, not the criminal. Don't beat yourself up.

TechniCoIorBroccoli · 46-50, F

@Serenitree thank you for your kind words. Self- defeating is that right word. I feel so uneasy like I've destroyed lives

Serenitree · F

@TechniCoIorBroccoli You're blaming yourself for being victimized. Usually others do the blaming the victim thing, but you're doing it to yourself. This is what I meant by self defeating. You're a good person who got robbed. Maybe he had a real need for the money. Maybe where he lives he has no access to social assistance, but whatever his reasons might be, they don't make you responsible for his behavior, nor for his family's suffering. That is all down to him.

TechniCoIorBroccoli · 46-50, F

@Serenitree no social security here ..he's from v poor background ...I know it's wrong to steal I know it all ..I was happy to get my money till I heard his mom was broken and crying and the family is feeling ashamed

Serenitree · F

@TechniCoIorBroccoli I know. It's sad. I'd feel shame too if it was one of mine. But well, here's a plan....why don't you visit the family? Tell,them you feel bad for their suffering and shame, but that you don't hold them responsible.

TechniCoIorBroccoli · 46-50, F

@Serenitree that would give me some peace but the hospital won't divulge his address. I also fear that his family will be harassed for even more money by the hospital management ...the practices here are well dodgy