When do age gaps become a problem?
Assuming each party is an adult. Where would you draw the line?
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PicturesOfABetterTomorrow · 41-45, M
Minors and adults are one thing.
But there seems to be a certain camp that seems hell bent on making every age gap relationship problematic and predatory which I think says more about them than anything else.
They also seem to ignore context entirely. I also noticed it often is only suddenly an issue and "predator" when a man is the older party.
And it gets particularly silly when you apply it to basically relationship norms from the 1990s or earlier and suddenly the majority of relationships are predatory.
Like congrats, you just turned your grandfather into a sexual predator.
But there seems to be a certain camp that seems hell bent on making every age gap relationship problematic and predatory which I think says more about them than anything else.
They also seem to ignore context entirely. I also noticed it often is only suddenly an issue and "predator" when a man is the older party.
And it gets particularly silly when you apply it to basically relationship norms from the 1990s or earlier and suddenly the majority of relationships are predatory.
Like congrats, you just turned your grandfather into a sexual predator.
Spoiledbrat · F
Because the older party knows more. @PicturesOfABetterTomorrow
PicturesOfABetterTomorrow · 41-45, M
@Spoiledbrat Knowing things and having been around longer doesn't necessarily equal a power imbalance though. And the fact most of the people complaining apply it as a male only double standard also suggests the problem they have is something else entirely.
Spoiledbrat · F
@PicturesOfABetterTomorrow Not always. It's usually males that seek out young woman and young woman that seek out an older man ...for a reason. Though I don't object to an age gap relationship, I'm just saying sometimes people prey on others. And some people are naive.
PicturesOfABetterTomorrow · 41-45, M
@Spoiledbrat The problem with your theory is that used to be the majority of relationships as recently as the 1990s. Are we seriously going to suggest everyone over 40 in a relationship was a predator?
And my point is older women get a pass. In fact if you look at things in pop culture female sexual predators are coded as "hot" ie The Graduate, or played for laughs.
But none of that gets discussed.
And my point is older women get a pass. In fact if you look at things in pop culture female sexual predators are coded as "hot" ie The Graduate, or played for laughs.
But none of that gets discussed.
Spoiledbrat · F
No one is saying that older woman get a pass. It's just typically woman are looking for stability and men are looking for sex. I didn't say it was like that in every age gap relationship. And it's not a theory. I know. @PicturesOfABetterTomorrow If you look at my original reply I had said "the older party" because I know sometimes the woman is the older party. An older woman usually has a bigger sexual appetite than a young woman does and I'm sure that's what draws a younger man to them. I'm not judging. I'm just saying.
PicturesOfABetterTomorrow · 41-45, M
@Spoiledbrat In many cases all of those things are true and I don't judge either.
But the thing about women getting a pass is a very real thing. Everything from TV and movies to the fact that female teachers who pray on underage students get way lighter sentences and are portrayed as just horny older women and not as creeps like men who do the same thing. And that has not really changed much since the 80s when The Graduate was a thing.
But the thing about women getting a pass is a very real thing. Everything from TV and movies to the fact that female teachers who pray on underage students get way lighter sentences and are portrayed as just horny older women and not as creeps like men who do the same thing. And that has not really changed much since the 80s when The Graduate was a thing.
Chickie · F
@PicturesOfABetterTomorrow
I agree will both of these but these same people that say this don't have a problem with a 74 y/o woman dating a 24 y/o man or 40 something y/o dating or sleeping with 18 y/o boys, only with men. It's hypocritical and weird I don't know when this pedophilia hysteria trend started.
But there seems to be a certain camp that seems hell bent on making every age gap relationship problematic and predatory which I think says more about them than anything else.
They also seem to ignore context entirely. I also noticed it often is only suddenly an issue and "predator" when a man is the older party.
They also seem to ignore context entirely. I also noticed it often is only suddenly an issue and "predator" when a man is the older party.
I agree will both of these but these same people that say this don't have a problem with a 74 y/o woman dating a 24 y/o man or 40 something y/o dating or sleeping with 18 y/o boys, only with men. It's hypocritical and weird I don't know when this pedophilia hysteria trend started.
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Spoiledbrat · F
It's probably just because it's more typical for a male to take advantage of a female. @PicturesOfABetterTomorrow