Diotrephes · 70-79, M
@Orphic = It's all about fulfilling needs and desires. For instance, you can fulfill my needs and desires by being a gorgeous woman with a beautiful smile, a soothing voice and touch and a pleasant personality. But I may not fulfill your needs and desires by not taking out the household garbage everyday, leaving my clothes on the floor, and not squeezing the tube of toothpaste properly. You will then become angry and eventually dump me although I will still be madly in love with you.
GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
Yup! 💯 It's a huge pain in the ass.
I've noticed that the most intense/compatible serious connections I have had, have been whenever I went in with low/no expectations.
As soon as I care too much about an outcome, any connection I try to form goes to hell.
You can only take people as seriously as they treat you.
But it's like poker, sometimes you're just going to get bluffed and you're gonna lose.
I used to be a hopeless romantic but I got burned too many times. I wish I could go "all in" but there is no way I ever am again.
It's exhausting.
I've noticed that the most intense/compatible serious connections I have had, have been whenever I went in with low/no expectations.
As soon as I care too much about an outcome, any connection I try to form goes to hell.
You can only take people as seriously as they treat you.
But it's like poker, sometimes you're just going to get bluffed and you're gonna lose.
I used to be a hopeless romantic but I got burned too many times. I wish I could go "all in" but there is no way I ever am again.
It's exhausting.
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GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
@Orphic Yeah, unfortunately the last serious relationship I attempted was with someone with avoidant attachment style.
I didn't know what that was before it was too late. I was so on the look out for cluster b red flags that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
The worst connection I have ever had, by far. Like some sort of CIA-level mindgame manipulation torture.
I had never felt so confused, disrespected, lonely, unseen and disregarded. Total waste of six months and emotional effort. I wish I had never taken her seriously.
At least now I know what to look out for, but I am no longer a hopeless romantic anymore.
I didn't know what that was before it was too late. I was so on the look out for cluster b red flags that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
The worst connection I have ever had, by far. Like some sort of CIA-level mindgame manipulation torture.
I had never felt so confused, disrespected, lonely, unseen and disregarded. Total waste of six months and emotional effort. I wish I had never taken her seriously.
At least now I know what to look out for, but I am no longer a hopeless romantic anymore.
Orphic · F
@GeistInTheMachine That's horrible indeed. Let's assume it was an important stage for you to realize the kind of people you might have not met yet !. Lately, people seem to be like this, and sometimes am shocked by the amount of complexity twisting mind illness they carry. What's even more shocking is that they lived through normal lives, closer to comfort and being spoiled .! Makes me wonder .. what about those who lived through a painful trauma in past or lived a harsh childhood they seem more normal to me to be honest!.
I hope this makes you feel closer to a genuine relationship in the future, Be strong and keep moving forward, Save your sincere feelings for the person who deserves them . 🫂
I hope this makes you feel closer to a genuine relationship in the future, Be strong and keep moving forward, Save your sincere feelings for the person who deserves them . 🫂
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
I believe you are correct. And I place the blame at the feet of the individuals expectations these days. What used to be keeping up with the Joneses. (Your neighbours) has become keeping up with the Kardashians. And for many people, if a prospective partner cant keep up the pretence (and it is just a pretence) they dont make the cut. The best, most long lasting relationships are " You and me against the world".. Those people know the real you, warts, farts and all and still love you.😷