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Too many people seem to think that by being good to me, they have somehow atoned for not doing the right thing for others like me

It does not work that way.
It is too late for me.
No amount of "help" and compassion will offer me what I already lost due to apathy and your mediocre privileges.
Whatever positive presence or actions you are capable of should be done for kids currently struggling in similar situations.
When it is too late, it is too late.
I am a consequence now.
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You encourage and remind people to do more. Not through your suffering because that's not the purpose it serves or any purpose tbh but through your will to do it yourself. I'm sorry the world failed you.