I Like the Smell of Cigarette Smoke
I can trace back the roots to the exact day I decided I love this smell. I was 12 years old. My mom came home from the bar at 2AM and entered my bedroom to tell me something. She woke me up from a deep sleep. I was disoriented but clearly recall the orange glow of her lit cigarette in my pitch black bedroom.
She was only in my room for a minute yet the odor of her cigarette smoke lingered. It seemed so strong to me. It's surprising that it bothered me so much since I was used to being around her smoke. I was always in clouds of her smoke at home and in the car and it just seemed normal to me. It's all I knew. Yet I guess I wasn't used to her smoking in my bedroom.
As I tossed and turned trying to get back to sleep I resented that she woke me up and smoked in my room. I felt violated. Then as my feelings of resentment and violation were at their peak something unexpected happened. I started getting aroused by the smell and the experience. As soon as I decided I liked the smell I was able to fall back asleep. Perhaps my brain turned a negative into a positive as a coping mechanism?
The next evening my mom cooked dinner. Before I finished eating she lit a cigarette at the dinner table and a big plume of smoke went in my face as I was trying to eat. Once again I felt violated (even if it probably happened hundreds of times before) that led to a tingle of arousal. Then I realized the smoke smelled great to me, it genuinely did.
When I spent time at a friends house who lived with non-smoking parents, I would arrive home and the blast of smoke when I arrived home smelled glorious to me. I especially liked when my mom had company over and everyone was smoking, the house would get so smokey. It not only smelled so good it put me in a good mood to be in that smokey atmosphere. There was something exciting about the energy of being in a room full of smokers. I remember all the laughing and bonding my mom had with her friends and the smell of smoke reminds me of the good times she had.
To this day cigarette smoke smells wonderful to me. Sometimes I go to a nearby Indian casino just to be in a very smokey atmosphere. I love getting smoked out there. Especially today where it's near impossible not to be in a smoke free environment, being around a lot of cigarette smoke is really special to me.
She was only in my room for a minute yet the odor of her cigarette smoke lingered. It seemed so strong to me. It's surprising that it bothered me so much since I was used to being around her smoke. I was always in clouds of her smoke at home and in the car and it just seemed normal to me. It's all I knew. Yet I guess I wasn't used to her smoking in my bedroom.
As I tossed and turned trying to get back to sleep I resented that she woke me up and smoked in my room. I felt violated. Then as my feelings of resentment and violation were at their peak something unexpected happened. I started getting aroused by the smell and the experience. As soon as I decided I liked the smell I was able to fall back asleep. Perhaps my brain turned a negative into a positive as a coping mechanism?
The next evening my mom cooked dinner. Before I finished eating she lit a cigarette at the dinner table and a big plume of smoke went in my face as I was trying to eat. Once again I felt violated (even if it probably happened hundreds of times before) that led to a tingle of arousal. Then I realized the smoke smelled great to me, it genuinely did.
When I spent time at a friends house who lived with non-smoking parents, I would arrive home and the blast of smoke when I arrived home smelled glorious to me. I especially liked when my mom had company over and everyone was smoking, the house would get so smokey. It not only smelled so good it put me in a good mood to be in that smokey atmosphere. There was something exciting about the energy of being in a room full of smokers. I remember all the laughing and bonding my mom had with her friends and the smell of smoke reminds me of the good times she had.
To this day cigarette smoke smells wonderful to me. Sometimes I go to a nearby Indian casino just to be in a very smokey atmosphere. I love getting smoked out there. Especially today where it's near impossible not to be in a smoke free environment, being around a lot of cigarette smoke is really special to me.
