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I Am a Heavy Smoker

An Expensive Habit That I Just Happen To Love... I guess you can call me weird but I was always fascinated by smoking. When I was a kid I used to pretend I was smoking with props, my dolls smoked, and I always knew one day I would. I grew up in a smoking household with both of my parents being smokers. My dad worked during the days and my mom was a stay at home mom so I really noticed her smoking. She seemed to always have one lit during the day and I wanted to be just like her. When I was 9 years old I started sneaking cigarettes from her pack or even half smoked discarded cigarettes from the ashtray. Anytime I could I would try to smoke them in the woods out back or if I could in the bathroom inside the house. I coughed but picked it back up, I watched my mom and learned how to do it and gradually the puffs became drags, the drags became cigarettes and it all became a habit.

I began to want more, to need more so I would take more, sneak more, and spend more time places I could smoke. Being a kid and not exactly sly it didn't take my parents too long to figure out a girl shouldn't spent 30 minutes in the bathroom and come out smelling like an ashtray. When I got confronted I feared the worst but they never made a big deal about it, instead I was allowed to smoke at home and only at home and as long as I did that I could smoke whenever I wanted to. That ended up being like a blank check, I would smoke anytime I could and my tolerances grew and I began to smoke more and more which had be surpassing a pack before my teen years. As I got older it got easier to smoke in other locations and the rules relaxed, before I had my drivers license I was smoking closer to two packs a day. I found that the more I smoked the more I enjoyed it, the amount I smoke a day has gone up and down, sometimes way up though most often hovering around 2 packs a day. It is something I enjoy very much but in New York 2 packs of Newport 100's sets me back over $20. I wish it didn't cost so much because it would make smoking a lot easier and smoking more a lot more feasible
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kellycares
I can really understand and relate to your situation. I didn't start smoking until I was 18 but new before that, I was I going to start smoking on a regular basis, and enjoy a lot of cigarettes... before I quit one day. Well, almost 30 years later, the addiction and my fondness for smoking, makes even the thought of quitting an insurmountable obstacle. So, as your story suggests some of us were just born smokers and best we can do is accept and enjoy our habit to the fullest.