I Use Drugs And Alchohol To Ease Pain

I admit no one's perfect. You are so scarey when you grab a knife and I have to muster up all my courage and face all my fears of meeting it to either grab one to scare you bc God knows I'd never stab you...seize it from you . Or talk you threw it. You could easily abuse meand I'd accept it bc you are what in me to abuse...but that's not why I'd let you stab or abuse me. It's because you are what's in me to love and show I care. I had a flickering memory of you tackling me and sticking me with the back of a knife. You got a kick out of me cry but I feel so self conscious because I'm attracted to you to death which makes me feel like a whore.