I want a better life.

I want to stop drinking. I want a woman. I want a fulfilling job. I want to finally get my ass going on music production. But I'm just so irresponsible, impulsive, and I get exhausted after just doing, like, ONE responsible thing. And life is so dull and boring every night that I just want to drink.

I want two things that are mutually exclusive and I'm choosing the worse of the two.