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Relationships don't make me feel good.

They make me anxious. They make me feel more alone. I know I've never experienced a healthy one, nobody in their right mind would be willing to love me full time. So I think it's best if I stay alone. It's so much better. I take care of myself, I feel better all around. I don't even care about sex that much anymore as it's just a vulnerability to be exploited.
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As long as it makes you happy that is all that matters