I am a virgin and I want to stay that way

Besides getting sexually abused as a 12 year old by an older girl really young woman around 18 or 19 who molested me. She didn’t penetrate me so it wasn’t rape but it was sexual abuse. I am pansexual in orientation but only ever kissed a girl ( around my age) when I was older. I have had feelings for people who were men, women, intersex like me, and transgender so I’m not straight. But in terms of consensual sexual activity I only did that in long term relationships with men. I shouldn’t have gotten naked with one of my boyfriends. It was only outercourse or foreplay when I was in my early 20s because I didn’t want penetrative sex ( oral, vaginal, or anal ). I was scared it would hurt and I was terrified of getting pregnant. But I regret having sexual activity even though I enjoyed it at the time because I broke up with him a few months later. ( I should have controlled myself and not allowed my passionate and horny nature to take over) And for my last boyfriend who was online and long distance we were deeply in love. I didn’t do anything sexual like sexting or cybersex until many months after almost a year of being together. We had movie dates, meal dates, and often talked about deeply personal and philosophical topics together and video called for many hours on the weekend. I broke up with him after almost eight years of knowing each other. I regret having cybersex and sexting now though it was fun and pleasurable ( I was passionate and horny) at the time because I broke up with him due to my own personal demons. I should have waited until I was married before I got naked with anyone. I lost my libido after losing my boyfriend and my depression intensified. I should have waited until I was married before taking off clothes. I don’t think I ever want to have intercourse. I think it’s best to stay celibate and abstinent for the rest of my life so I don’t do anything that gets me attached to romantic partners again. I don’t want to date/courtship, live together or get married anymore. I feel it’s best to just be a virgin and not have any sexual activity. I feel regretful over not staying completely innocent. I don’t believe in casual dating or casual sex. I don’t sex chat or do cybersex or even kiss or have sexual activity with someone casually. I’m not that kind of girl who is promiscuous and casual about any. Kind of sex. If I hadn’t. Broken up with my last boyfriend I would have married him after getting together in real. Life. I don’t want anyone else after him. I have not dated much only three people in my life. I started dating when I was 19. I just regret my actions and wish I stayed physically pure and proper at least until I was married. I should be straightish ( because I am intersex) and married to a man. That would be the easiest way to live.