Hey buddy, I feel you, I felt the same way at 19. Hell I still feel it now. Lemme tell you something though...You don't need it. You'll find your own inner strength and that will be enough. Or a women, either or. They're plenty and I'm sorry but you're stupid young at 19 lol. I am at 22. They will come. Gotta ask yourself if you're ready though. It's almost not worth the effort