I Am Single

I am 27 and single. I'm not going to lie but I love being single. I can come and go as I please. Not worrying about relationship problems, but eventually I probably will in the future. I've dated before a couple of years ago and it didn't work out. My friends tried to hook me up or introduce me to men. I appreciated it, but I'm just not interested in dating again right now. I will in my own time and when I'm ready. I just want to focus on college and getting a stable job in all, but I love to have fun. To be very honest, I am not mature enough to be in a committed relationship/marriage, but that doesn't mean I want to end up alone for the rest of my life. One day I will feel ready to date again and I'm doing it on my own time. Is that bad?

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will999 · 70-79, M

Hello MyCreativeThoughts 26-30, F. Many people make the mistake of marrying too young for various reasons. I married at age 22 and my GF was 17. She spoke about nothing else but having a baby for the previous year but I managed to put her off until she was 19 because I knew it was a big commitment and I'm glad I did, but I wish we'd waited a bit longer to tie the knot. During the year after our second child was born six years after we were married she had a brief affair with someone I knew from our circle of friends. I suspected it because of inexplicable changes in her behaviour and attitudes but she denied it avidly. We began to argue every day when I came home from work about trivial things. Within the year she left abruptly and moved in with the prime suspect on the very same day. They had a baby together, her third child, then he left her. Our relationship suffered irreparable damage. For the next 15 years I was a weekend parent until both of my kids had finished school and found employment. I did my own shopping, laundry and cooking and spent my spare time studying to improve my employment opportunities. I was a bit lonely but I simply had no time for a GF. I am still on good terms with my two (now adult) children. Their mother and I now live separate lives. There is nothing left to fight about having made a fair division of our assets. I have no idea how many lovers she has but I do know I am not one of them. We are both now free to do what we want without compromise or dishonesty. Had we spent more time getting to know each other at the start we probably would have seen that we are just not right for each other for a committed relationship and the grief of an acrimonious break up could have been avoided. I am still a bit lonely and I am open to the possibility of another monogamous relationship but I am in no hurry to give away my hard earned freedom. I am not one to change partners as often as my socks. It would have to be the right person.

SW-User

Intresting story. I'm in no hurry to be in a committed relationship.

will999 · 70-79, M

@MyCreativeThoughts: Hi again. You're unlikely to make the same mistake we did. We had a brief fling when neither of us was ready to settle down and, left to our own devices it probably would not have lasted very long. Our respective families became very 'concerned' about our involvement and we married to satisfy them against my better judgement. It did not really satisfy them, or us for that matter. It's one of life's lessons that most people have to learn for themselves. I am happily single again and now in solitary control of my personal circumstances. Life in our brave new world is not perfect. I am not against marriage per se, only marriage where there is no real accord about it's meaning and purpose. A marriage certificate is not enough to guarantee the success of a marriage relationship. Upwards of half of all marriages today produce nothing but grief.