Are you one of them girls?

@SW-User OMG, they so do! It's laughable sometimes.

It's like I was sitting there alone just waiting for him to walk up to me. 🙄

No! I was sitting there because I enjoy that spot and was enjoying some alone time at the end of the day!

@SW-User There really needs to be psychology and sociology courses mandatorily taught in 6th through 12th grade.
Then perhaps the wrong-headed concepts adopted during those years might be less likely to confusing & bewildering to all. Possibly some mutual respect & honest caring understanding as well.

I don't know how many times I've had to say to my daughters, "Guys are Not Girls, they do not Think* like You do." While explaining Boy Issues.

* If & when they actually do think.

@SW-User The idea that you could like guys in general but not like him was incomprehensible to him. You either crave his dick or you must be a lesbian. In his demented world there is no third choice. And this is dangerous.

This thinking is what leads many guys into thinking they have a right to your time and attention. And since they have the right, they don't need to ask permission or concent. It spirals from there.

@sarabee1995 This guy stalked me for almost a year so yeah he definitely didn't understand.. Then at the end he lashed out at me 😅

@SW-User no not really

@SW-User in America we do for ourselves men do

@SW-User I'm sorry that happened to you and glad you're okay. 🤗

@monellla731 What does [b][i]"in America we do for ourselves men do"[/i][/b] mean??

@sarabee1995 means we contribute to everything laundry grocery shopping etc

@monellla731 Really? Do you think most men here do?

@sarabee1995 no they don’t but I do American men do

@monellla731 We're both in America. Why do you keep saying "American" men?

The vast majority of American men do NOT "contribute to everything" or expect to in a relationship.

@sarabee1995 MANY years ago.. a lady friend at the yacht club asked me a question.. "If I gave you the phone number of a nice girl would you call her?" and then she proceeded to tell me a bit about her.. so I responded that yes I would call her.. it was not so much being set up as it was an introduction from someone who knew both of us and our backgrounds. . and "she" was expecting my call.. so I called and we met and went out on a date.. we just had our 33rd wedding anniversary... The idea of approaching someone cold sounds about as unusual to me as it gets. It's like throwing darts blindfolded hoping that one is going to hit a bulls eye... a not very likely or realistic outcome. Not long after our first Daughter was born we were staying over at the boat and some friends were going to a bar... and my Wife said I should go with them.. I could not figure out why I was there but we got in the motor boat and went to a shore side bar... I am drinking a beer minding my own business when a Woman comes up to me and says "my friend likes you"... like water coming off a ducks back I reply "so does my Wife"... the lady of the couple I went to the bar with heard that exchange... and said to me approvingly ..."that was quite the response" - I shrugged like what else was I going to say?.. I went there for a drink not to be picked up.. so yes I get it.. Sometimes the sign they need to read is "exit"... Like I said 33 years... the other related observation is they do not call them the ten "suggestions." We stayed over again tonight on the boat.. it is raining outside.. This was dinner tonight -boat made sauce, baked penne with mozzarella cheese... Which I made after we came back from sailing.. I also made a small Pizza.. I LOVE the galley on our boat because of how versatile and functional it is.

@pdqsailor1 First, wow that looks yummy! Next time you go sailing, you find a young Navy lieutenant stowing away down below. Don't throw her overboard. Just feed her and she'll be no bother! 🤣

I like your answer too. It sounds very much like something my dad or grandfather would say. I love seeing long term couples in love. I'm quite sure your wife knows she's got a great guy; and I'm equally sure she's also great (birds of a feather and all that) ... but I love hearing your stories like this one. That's awesome that your first date was "arranged" by someone who knew you both well. I hope you both thanked them!

She was indeed well thanked and was at our wedding... and in my speech acknowledged "from one sailor to another may the sun shine warmly on your face and the wind blow gently at your back"....@sarabee1995

Thank you... there was plenty of left overs..from the baked pasta casserole.. also plenty of dishes and cutlery for guests, plus plenty of room at the galley table so we don't throw anyone overboard... - well the chihuahuas if they decide to fight with one another and need some cooling off but that is a "teaching" moment and they remember so all I have to do is ask them if they want to go swimming and they quickly behave themselves...

I do not remotely understand the mentality of a pick up situation.. I mean male ego and lust are not the basis for anything of any worth and are simply a superficial reflection of an idiot on the prowl not any kind of gift to Women, more of a curse actually...... successful relationships should be based upon similar backgrounds and values and yes the very best are introductions where both people are known to the person doing the matchmaking.. the odds of long term relationship success are dramatically improved... Our youngest - about to turn 23 this month has been going out for the past five years with a fellow she met at university whose parents live a few miles from us and we know the parents.. they are members of the same golf Club as my Wife's Father.. a stable relationship and they are smart enough to know they are compatible, love one another and like each other.. He is a structural engineer.. but unfortunately he loves golf instead of sailing, in five years they have come sailing exactly one time with us.... when I die someone is going to get their hands on a really cool boat... Both of our Daughters are excellent sailors - they could sail their own boats before they could ride bikes but they don't do much sailing any more.. they have their names engraved on a lot of club silverware.

I changed the VHF radio on the sailboat to one with a second station RAM mike, I just took the previous radio from the sailboat and installed it on the whaler hooked it up to the GPS on the whaler...

@sarabee1995

@pdqsailor1 I like how you said this... [quote][i][b]they are compatible, love one another and like each other[/b][/i][/quote]
Love and like are two very different things but equally important.

In high school I went out with both my boyfriends because they asked and my friends said they were hot. Not very mature decision making on my part and both really bad relationships.

But after that, almost everyone I've dated, and certainly all my longer term relationships, have been friends of mine prior to us dating. I think today that's almost a must for me. Connect with me and be my friend before you try to connect on any other level.

But yeah, the bar / club scene with peeps hitting on each other is just awful. And I used to say this was a fault of guys, but I've been to a few lesbian clubs and we (women) are just as bad.

Hmm ... Only gone sailing with you once in five years? Sorry, that would be a deal breaker for me. One of my relatively recent relationships was with an Air Force lieutenant I met when we both were at Georgetown. She was from Wyoming and grew up on a ranch riding horses and 4x4s. She sailed from the Chesapeake to Florida with me. Yes, it was a test!! 🤣 (Of course, she then promptly brought me to her family's ranch!! 🤣🤣)

@sarabee1995 Of course there are tests and they are critically important..

Couples must like one another, they must respect one another.. then there are choices.. does like, respect and love over come ego? Men tend to be ego centric and selfish and this makes them almost universally LOUSY lovers.. and Women who put up with them are short changing themselves. It took me too LONG to learn how to make my Wife really happy.. but once I learned oh my goodness life was a whole lot better. The part about respect.. What do people need and want? As much control over their destiny and lives as is possible... Women are a whole lot more receptive if they are guaranteed a pleasurable experience... take care of HER first and as a priority and you will do just fine fella.. Sounds so very simple, most men do not have a CLUE... What do Women want? Their own way, as much as is humanly possible..

My Wife and I do not mix into our Daughters relationships.. We like how our younger Daughter and her boyfriend get along and we are supportive... We trust them and we are hands off, and they are doing just fine.. but I do wish he would be more open to sailing and less golf centric.. I mean an ENGINEER... when I heard he was an engineer, well I got my hopes up... but they were dashed all right... Golf is like a game of billiards on a really big table.. Sailing .. is LIFE.. we get to be at one with the all mighty's power and majesty..

@pdqsailor1 If it's any consolation, we don't know what we want either! 🤣

But, [b][i] Happy wife, happy life!![/i][/b] It's so true. When we're happy, we overlook so much. But when we're not, we make life miserable. 🤷‍♀️

Engineer? And he'd rather whack a little white ball across a big lawn with a stick?? Yeah, I don't get it either! To each his own, I guess? 🤦‍♀️

But yeah, finding that ideal trim where all forces are in balance and the boat smooths out, warm sun on your face, a cool breeze, white caps as far as the eye can see, [b] that[/b] is the meaning of Zen. I would expect an engineer to have interest.

I had the same expectations.. Engineers are supposed to see wonder in the physical world we live in... There is no wonder on a golf course other than if you find your ball after whacking it with a club you are already a winner so you may as well quit while you are ahead. @sarabee1995

So much of what I feel while sailing is a part of me... could I explain why I do each adjustment? Yes but I don't speak at all, I just do it. Its the same when I bring the boat to the dock, new neighbours rush to help.. I hold up my hand, and just tie up.. the boat is like an old horse that finds its way into its stall in the barn by itself. I have experienced sailors at the club comment on my sail trim and I just smile and say thank you. Sailing is the most natural feeling in the world and I feel more at home on the water than I do anywhere else.

I need a pick up truck and a trailer so I can take the boat down to Florida from mid November to mid April. Life is too short to waste half of it waiting for summer.

@pdqsailor1 Sail her down! Take out the Seaway in the Spring and sail her to Florida!!! [b][i]THAT[/i][/b] would be an adventure!

I take a lot of guests out on my boat. I may be a lowly lieutenant at work, but on my boat, I am Captain. Every guest, especially my Navy colleagues, gets told this upon embarking. They know what it means. I may freely surrender the helm with a brief skills check, and on very rare occasions I may surrender the con, but I remain Captain for the duration. She's my boat, I know her best, and I determine where she goes under what conditions. 🙂

@sarabee1995 I am about to turn 65... an age my Father and younger Brother never attained... As a young man I raced as crew on a large powerful boat with and against some of the finest sailors in the world. Later I owned a sailing hydrofoil and sustained 35 knots with it.. I have done deliveries, raced long distances, cruised also... and I truly dislike motoring any distance on a sailboat. I am at an age where I am not looking for the adventure of getting there I am looking for the joys of sailing the boat at its destination... Motoring is one of the things they do not do well. Being adept at repairs and maintenance over the long haul I do not find it with in me to contemplate the abuse a boat or its drive system either... our boat has a folding prop, great for day sailing lousy for a hundred miles or more of motoring.. Because I take really good care of the boat - the idea of pushing it to Florida on its own bottom is anathema to me... but trucking it there myself and launching it as an excursion .. well that capability - to hit multiple venues in a relatively short period of time.. I could see doing New England for a month or more in the fall, then picking up and doing Palm Beach or Ft. Lauderdale... then back up in the spring and maybe the North Chanel of Lake Huron.. The point is with a truck and a trailer the boat is point and click to a multiplicity of destinations and venues that I might never otherwise consider. Like your boat, it is narrow enough at under ten feet of beam and not too much draft or height to make it down the highway safely... with a limited sized truck to haul it...

I agree with you on being Captain... Even when I am with others on my boat - I sail it by myself and while my word is law I use very few words.. and I am very comfortable handling this boat.. She is so well balanced and a pleasure to sail on it.. The boat does my bidding in all conditions.. I have no problem setting a chute or dousing one - I won't try gybing it with a pole by myself that one I would value some help with.. but changing sails underway... and sailing the boat.. the controls were set up for racing but I also set them up to be highly efficient and convenient so I can sit in one spot and do just about anything from there. The wireless remote for the pilot.. is pretty cool technology. I use the pilot a lot as it frees me to set and adjust sails and that mast head camera is a life saver in terms of collision avoidance and situational awareness... I had this idea for a wide angle camera at the mast head quite a long while ago and I am on my second iteration of it.. the parts were very inexpensive but the value of this system is significant.. One of the other gadgets I have is an electric winch handle - it uses a high torque Milwalkee right angle drill with the chuck replaced by a winch fitting... it has enough power to send me aloft two or three times on a single charge.. I do not use it to handle sheets, I don't need to the boat is a pleasure to sail... She is quick, very stiff (53% ballast displacement ratio and draws 5.5'), points like a champ, reaches like a demon and is incredible to live on.. She is comfortable and super well equipped. I now have both a drifter and a half ounce spinnaker so she is very capable in light winds as well as a blast to sail when it is blowing hard... She has a perfect sheer line for the rough stuff - takes my breath away...

@pdqsailor1 No spinnaker on my rig, but I think you know that. I've flown spinnakers before on other boats, including the O'Day I grew up sailing, but my current rig is not intended for cruising so it doesn't really make sense. Someday... 😁

Congrats on the longevity, but 65 is not supposed to be old anymore! But I get it... Dropping into various regions by truck/trailer could be fun. If you do make it to my home waters, there are tons of cute harbors to explore and offshore islands to drop anchor at. And, of course, Nantucket is a must! I'd love to call her home someday. 🙂

@sarabee1995 a boomed jib is plenty quick and stable off the wind plus I believe that your rig is carbon fibre. Loads of fun and your boat only takes minutes to rig and get sailing. I also pole out the jib for shorter legs as the whisker pole is light and telescopes to fit all the Genoas on the boat. Many boats carry asymmetric spinnakers (which are only effective reaching not downwind). but ours being old school has multiple symmetrical spinnakers . More work to rig up but also more for n as they are effective from dead down wind to a 55 degree apparent reach in the case of our flat star cut chute.

Yes the truck and trailer would allow us to expand our horizons as to what is possible. I would love to spend a summer in your back yard. I have to add closed loop cooling to our engine first and flush kits for the heat pump and head but otherwise the boat is I think ready for salt water.