Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Am Single

I could say I'm extremely unlucky when it comes to relationships. Got divorced last year because my ex husband was quite a womanizer. I feel free definitely, but I miss being in a relationship.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
SW-User
Is it that you miss being in a relationship or is it that you're lonely?

I had to break it off with my exfiance because he was suffocating, obsessive and wouldn't take care of himself.

By no means do I miss being in that relationship but I do get lonely just wanting to have a genuine connection be it with friends or someone
bhatjc · 46-50, M
@SW-User Sounds like your ex was lazy. Besides just be your self.
MissJida · 36-40, F
@SW-User I'm someone who jumped from relationship to relationship... it helped fill the emptiness I felt from loneliness and depression. And when I got married, it did distract me for a while but then my husband started acting up.

I really dislike people like your ex, they're so toxic. I'm glad you broke it off.
SW-User
@bhatjc you're very astute. Yes, he was.
SW-User
@MissJida I see. But, I must say, my exfiance has the same problem you do.

He battled with depression because he never learned to let things go. He never learned to take charge of his life and himself. Besides he's the one steering the ship.

But he was also insecure about me leaving him for someone else, or that I would hate him because he just hates himself(for reasons he never told me, otherthan he just does). He said that he loves me because I made him happy.

You know what he did? He obsessed over me, wouldn't respect my boundaries (physically, and sexually). It was all about me filling the void: He can't be happy with himself and be alone with himself from time to time because I am his happiness. I made him strong because I was strong. He felt he had to have me physically with him in order to be content.

And like all addictions it was never going to be enough. No matter how much time I spend with him, he would text me how depressed, angry, and lonely he is EVERY DAY.

I knew, it was never going to work, so I ended it.

Moral of the story is: You never want to have these expectations or put someone on a pedistal and expect them to "fix" you, or "make" you better.

You have the power to do that yourself. You can only make you happy.

(Don't take any of what I said about me blaming you for your problems, you exhusband was an asshole I know, but in general don't make a relationship you're everything because you both will suffer).
bhatjc · 46-50, M
@SW-User @MissJida Good for the both of you ladies.