Almost 4.00 a.m and I am too tired to work today

Darn I feel old.

My job would have been 50% easier if my colleagues had the same ethics, and I didn't need to fill in where they fail.

I have to do way too much.

One positive thing about yesterday, also really adorable, was a dude waiting for me almost an entire day. The security got suspicious of him, kept an eye on him and made him ID and sign papers proving entry.

As soon as I got out, he came towards me running like a child and told me about his wife, who was my patient last week. She sent him to invite me for dinner. Of course I had to say no and agreed on having tea on my day off.

Tea and gluten free cookies. Free food is good food.

He then showed me all the pictures of him, his wife and baby in his phone. Such a happy dude and little funny.

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BlueGreenGrey ·

If you use yourself up completely there, it will be a lose-lose situation for everyone ... there's got to be some way for you to find a better work-life balance

It's like you need to go on strike to make your colleagues pull their own weight, or to get more help hired (but I know that assumes anyone is actually applying for any open positions)

But I know something like a strike (assuming you could even get around contractual obligations here) would potentially harm patients ... but you can't keep going the way things are, something is going to give eventually, and I would rather it be something of your own choosing than otherwise 🤗

Miram · 31-35, F

@BlueGreenGrey

Yes, I can't really do strikes. I don't participate in that and they wouldn't achieve that goal. This is a cultural problem.

Sometimes I do things to make things difficult for them, but it only works temporarily before they are back to their old selves. It's a problem of morality. You can't force others to have your beliefs. When you do, they will only display them while you're around, no convinction.

BlueGreenGrey ·

@Miram if it's a systemic cultural and moral problem you cannot alter, you need to stop filling in where they fail if that causes you to burn out and actually cause physical, mental and emotional distress that ultimately can harm you even if that means some things may fall through the cracks and things will not go as perfectly as would be desired in a more supportive work environment (and yes I know this isn't a factory making useless widgets but actually people's health at stake)

I'm not saying lower your standards because "hey, everyone else is doing it" I am only saying you ABSOLUTELY MUST TAKE CARE of YOU as well. You have to make yourself a priority on occasion too. Too many people are neglecting primary self-care that is absolutely valid.

If you let go of trying to fill in where others fail, in the long run you will still be able to help more people than if you destroy yourself 🤗

Miram · 31-35, F

@BlueGreenGrey

I understand you're trying to help.

But I disagree with much of this comment. It is faith based. You do what you can in the moment when it comes to prioritizing human lives. Letting people die "now" or risking that while hoping to save energy for future ones isn't the right choice for me.

No guarantees I will be alive tomorrow to seek out redemption for my situational apathy.

All I have is now.

BlueGreenGrey ·

@Miram I know you're right, but the situation just isn't right at all (and your colleagues are making it unfair not only to you but also to the very patients who are the primary reason for both you and your colleagues do the job you do in the first place), so my frustration with the wrongness of your environment makes me seek shortcuts perhaps

I don't know how realistic it would be with the specifics of your locale by targeting a regulatory approach but if there was some relevant body which could promulgate useful punitive measures for colleagues not meeting some bare minimum level of effort (like responsive pay penalties or such), maybe something can be a start on the right path to gradually fix the culture