Why I have hadesphobia I seen the devil twice

protestants make and excuse for there sins saying they were paid in the cross but fail to acknowledge that spirtuality is purgin yourself through the holy spirit to become clean as snow. God is so Holy that even one sinful thought can jeapordize eternal punishment. The way I see it God is so Holy to touch him we have to be holy. My brother lives in the world my mom is pentocoastal-she has a perversive faith about god in a way testing god. God is also god of reason and logic but she rejects reason and she adds to my worries. My brother is lost in the world still my dad is supporting all of us in the house. My dad doesn't want no one to suffer but I try to change many times how come he didn't put his trust in me, I'm still not given up I try even if I fall but is not to please my family but to please God.