I Think Too Much

My mind is going off like a siren, I'm hoping for some silence, but the voices inside are violent, screaming shouting, and everything I am, is everything I don't want to be, I can't say who I am, cause I don't feel like I'm me, and I'm not free to dream, what I want to dream or I would dream that I was anybody but me, you see, crazy is how they describe me, why they don't like me why everyone thinks that I'm lying, when I say I'm disabled or unable to do a certain thing they just say I'm unstable, I'm not, mentally I'm strange but I'm not crazy in the way that you think it's just that I think about everything you don't see and I see things you won't believe, and I've been to places darker than the streets at midnight with no lights, in the countryside because deep inside, there is no place darker than my mind, or my life, it's my right to feel afraid because I've been abused beaten and raped, and theres only so much one mind can take I'm 20 years old and suffer from severe backache, and migrains, my hips dislocate, I look fine, but inside my whole body needs to be rewired, and I'm tired, so tired as I have chronic fatigue so much more wrong with me than anyone could believe but no-one believes me even though I'm diagnosed everyone just say I'm crazy that's how it goes

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DaveExp

I like it... It's got rhythm. It's got blues too... I feel for you. I have a voice in my head. At least one, anyway. It's like a bully... and it knows all my secrets. It helps me to think of somebody sticking up to that bully. A friend. So I evoke the voice of that friend in my head and its puts the bully in place.

BeingLea · 26-30, T

I think subconsciously in order to have a friend in my head to stick up to the bully in my head there'd have to be a small part of me that likes myself, and there isn;t

DaveExp

Or make friends with the bully... Take the criticisms as a friendly roast. I'm trying this myself. It's not easy. I need to remember to slooooow dooooown. Then I can put this in to practice.

BeingLea · 26-30, T

I'll give it a go I'm willing to try anything to be honest, I want to make something of myself I'm ambitious I just need to control the crazy inside me haha, because to other people my eccentricity can be intimidating, my honesty comes across as rudeness, and my low self esteem and self doubt just comes across as if I'm pessimistic hopeless and dark

DaveExp

I like to watch comedian George Carlin on you tube. He cheers me up :-)

BeingLea · 26-30, T

I'll check him out, I like doc brown, funny and he does it in a rap combining two of my favourite things, music and laughter haha