If I could talk to my younger self. I would say this

Despite the fact you live though some tragic events in your life. Look what has happened to you in your life. Tragedy does not mean an end of life, but an opening to a new beginning.

You will appear in the newspapers, on the radio, and on television several times. You will start and sell a modest business to fund your ambition of farming.

So, when you experience catastrophic situations in life. You can overcome them if you push through.