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I Long For Someone to Really Know Me

I want what i dont have
And when i have it i dont want it, not even knowing that what i had was want i wanted

So now im sitting here thinking of all the people i have pushed away when they were willing to give me the friendship i had longed for

All cause i was too scared
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Its hard when you feel like you cant be open or trusting with people, i also struggle to be vulnerable with others.
You end up fighting ur battles all alone, and after a while it gets tiring.
Its better to come to this realisation now than never, i guess treasure the people you do or will have with you in the future.