I Am a Sensitive Person
Since I've had this career, I've saved quite a bit of money. I was extremely proud of myself. I used that money to pay off his debt and mine. Other than school loans, we're debt free. The home-buying process has been EXTREMELY stressful. We fell into a bracket of buying power with the VA loan. I was extremely happy being at that price bracket, but it gave us plenty of competition. Found a house we liked, put in an offer. Someone outbid us. Found another house. TOTALLY LOVED THIS ONE! Someone outbid us again. We haven't been able to sleep or focus in getting work done. It's been that stressful. Found another house we liked. Put in an offer. Just like before, it was countered. But we won it!!! First thing I did was tell my mom. My mom is so sheltered and so oblivious to the going ons in the world. She didn't reveal an ounce of care. New things are hard for her to fathom. After I told her, she told me it was too noisy where she currently was and to call her back later. I called her back later. Still no congratulations. Still no emotions in her voice. Just the sound of cluelessness. After I told her, she asked if there was anything else new with us. Hmmm. I told her no there wasn't. Just finally getting a house and being in escrow. Hmmm. Nothing. My husband rolled his eyes and shook his head. I had her on speaker just in case she wanted to congratulate us both. Nothing. I got off the phone with her. My dad called a little while later. Grilled us on location. Started being prejudice over our decisions of where to buy the house. Kept asking us condescending questions. Just disappointment after disappointment. I told him I had to go and hung up.
For many years now, I've attempted to include them in my life. I invited them to my thesis, to my promotions, to my graduation. They're extremely sheltered and a recluse when it comes to life outside of what they are used to. I bought them a laptop and opened up a Facebook account for them so they can see life outside. To be exposed to the going ons of the family and their children. They are very old-fashioned. They are scared of anything new. They don't want to be near people that are different. They don't want to expose themselves in unfamiliar territory. They have trouble with new thought, new traditions, new customs. I used to think they were just the typical older generation. But i've done customer service my whole life. I'm exposed to all forms of people, various age groups, religions, idealisms, traditions. I can easily talk to all of them. I can open up to them with what's on my mind, what's going on in my heart. Then I assumed it was my parents ethnicity. Nope. Not that either. I have opened up to aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and numerous older cousins. It's just the way my parents are. They don't have the ability to be encouraging or supportive. You tell them you have a problem, they don't know how to fix it. You tell them that something great has happened in your life, they only focus on the negative. You tell them about your career. They only see the risks and dangers. If I were up to them, they'd have all of us kids living with them, they would select our jobs, our employment, our partners, our education. I'm disappointed with my parents. That they can't be supportive or encouraging. They don't know how to accept our choices. They don't know how to talk to us in a way to make us thrive. They are NOT good parents. They are two people who think that overprotection and throwing money at us makes them good parents. It does not. Parents are more than just a means of shelter and financial support. I've always known they were this way. But I need to say it aloud. I don't have good parents. It doesn't mean that I don't love them. I do. But I only do because they are my blood. The random people I meet, my friends, my siblings, my cousins, my clients, my acquaintances, numerous ex-boyfriends - they all have raised me like good parents should. I'm fortunate to have these other people in my life. Because of them, I've attained wisdom, experiences, exercised new thought, and delved into deeper parts of my spirituality. I know more of who I am, what I stand for, and what I represent. I'm the complete opposite of my parents. I'm fearless, I'm not afraid of the world, I love diversity, differences, and change. I'm not afraid to take risks, live on the wild side, try scary things. I've grown into everything they were too scared to look at. I'm nothing like they would have ever imagined. I have no regrets. Actually I do... I regret making an effort to include them in my life. They will never be ready to be exposed to the world. They feel safe where they currently are. There's no reason to force them out. My brother left a long time ago, as did my sister, as did I. We all visit the parents, do things that they want, eat where they want, talk about things that they want. There's a reason why my brother and sister leave it at just that. My parents can only understand what they know and what they are used to. I regret attempting to welcome them into my world. Never again. Next time, I will only expose myself to those who have proven to be there for me. I'm done with them.
For many years now, I've attempted to include them in my life. I invited them to my thesis, to my promotions, to my graduation. They're extremely sheltered and a recluse when it comes to life outside of what they are used to. I bought them a laptop and opened up a Facebook account for them so they can see life outside. To be exposed to the going ons of the family and their children. They are very old-fashioned. They are scared of anything new. They don't want to be near people that are different. They don't want to expose themselves in unfamiliar territory. They have trouble with new thought, new traditions, new customs. I used to think they were just the typical older generation. But i've done customer service my whole life. I'm exposed to all forms of people, various age groups, religions, idealisms, traditions. I can easily talk to all of them. I can open up to them with what's on my mind, what's going on in my heart. Then I assumed it was my parents ethnicity. Nope. Not that either. I have opened up to aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and numerous older cousins. It's just the way my parents are. They don't have the ability to be encouraging or supportive. You tell them you have a problem, they don't know how to fix it. You tell them that something great has happened in your life, they only focus on the negative. You tell them about your career. They only see the risks and dangers. If I were up to them, they'd have all of us kids living with them, they would select our jobs, our employment, our partners, our education. I'm disappointed with my parents. That they can't be supportive or encouraging. They don't know how to accept our choices. They don't know how to talk to us in a way to make us thrive. They are NOT good parents. They are two people who think that overprotection and throwing money at us makes them good parents. It does not. Parents are more than just a means of shelter and financial support. I've always known they were this way. But I need to say it aloud. I don't have good parents. It doesn't mean that I don't love them. I do. But I only do because they are my blood. The random people I meet, my friends, my siblings, my cousins, my clients, my acquaintances, numerous ex-boyfriends - they all have raised me like good parents should. I'm fortunate to have these other people in my life. Because of them, I've attained wisdom, experiences, exercised new thought, and delved into deeper parts of my spirituality. I know more of who I am, what I stand for, and what I represent. I'm the complete opposite of my parents. I'm fearless, I'm not afraid of the world, I love diversity, differences, and change. I'm not afraid to take risks, live on the wild side, try scary things. I've grown into everything they were too scared to look at. I'm nothing like they would have ever imagined. I have no regrets. Actually I do... I regret making an effort to include them in my life. They will never be ready to be exposed to the world. They feel safe where they currently are. There's no reason to force them out. My brother left a long time ago, as did my sister, as did I. We all visit the parents, do things that they want, eat where they want, talk about things that they want. There's a reason why my brother and sister leave it at just that. My parents can only understand what they know and what they are used to. I regret attempting to welcome them into my world. Never again. Next time, I will only expose myself to those who have proven to be there for me. I'm done with them.
