Self improvement 4
Its been a few days since I have been on here. Years at this point. And it happenend again. I talked with someone for close to 700 messages over two weeks. I was feeling very down in that time, had many moments, where I felt the depression and my inability to communicate my feelings to overpower me. But that person always was positive, always helpful, always told me, I shouldnt judge myself, I should accept it, learn to love myself. This morning I wished them a Good morning, after they had suddenly not asnwered anymore in two days. That was nothing special. They often forget or have other things to do. Or even tried explaining to me, that they were sharing their acc with some friend!? So I wish a good morning and ask whats happening. Instantly blocked. By a person, who told me just three days ago, that I should cry, when I feel like it, because it will make me feel better. I come to the conclusion over and over again, that humanity is so sad and frustrated and traumatized, that we have only that left. To block. We are unable to communicated our feelings, because we have learned, as soon as we do it, someone dismisses them. Some people are just riding high horses, because they have found a hill they like.
I dont know really why this is self improvement to me. Maybe because three days ago I talked with that person about the harmful connections I had over the past few weeks which directly played out like this. Just out of nowhere, either verbal attacks and block, or just ghosting and block.
Honestly, I can say, from my own experience, that this wont work out. If you continue on this path, you will always feel like you are missing something. Nothing will ever feel good to you. You will only be closing doors, because you are waiting for someone to actually open one for you. But next to the cruelty, that would be an ability to learn yourself. No one can do those things FOR you.
This is self improvement to me, because last time, I really spiraled. This time I am angry, biased, frustrated. But as soon as I will have posted this, I will go about my day and forget this person.
I dont know really why this is self improvement to me. Maybe because three days ago I talked with that person about the harmful connections I had over the past few weeks which directly played out like this. Just out of nowhere, either verbal attacks and block, or just ghosting and block.
Honestly, I can say, from my own experience, that this wont work out. If you continue on this path, you will always feel like you are missing something. Nothing will ever feel good to you. You will only be closing doors, because you are waiting for someone to actually open one for you. But next to the cruelty, that would be an ability to learn yourself. No one can do those things FOR you.
This is self improvement to me, because last time, I really spiraled. This time I am angry, biased, frustrated. But as soon as I will have posted this, I will go about my day and forget this person.
