how do you keep cool and not take things personally

to put it bluntly i have a personality disorder and are hypersensitive, and i often take personal what people do or say, then i feel very angry....i'm also a very anxious person publicly and tend to be ''standoffish'' too......i'm just a male all alone who has had a difficult life and never found relationships, never had a partner......there's too much to put here.

i often take it personal what people do or say and i give off the vibe in public, like ' don't come near me'...ive never really had a big group of friends, only ever had one or two at primary school, now ive ended up alone and i'm now in my 40s...i just have my 2 elderly parents for support.

i know this question probably comes over as all over the place, but thats how it is when you have a personality disorder, anyway, how can i learn not to let people get to me in general or take things personal?

people often treat me standoffish too and are unfriendly with me, and that gets to me too, makes me feel angry and offended.

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Keraunos · 36-40, M

This is a tough one for me to answer competently, as I largely overcame this problem at age thirteen in a less-than-conscious way, and you're having to swim upstream against a backlog of neurological ruts worn three decades deeper than what I was up against at time. But, that disclaimed, for me as an adolescent, it was a sudden epiphany one day that other humans' impressions of me do not actually carry any real effect, and that it was very strange that I had ever thought of them as something I should obviously be interested in. Except to the precise extent that someone is willing and able to actively disrupt your life, their impressions of you may as well be birdsong or dogs barking.

The words may convey one of many easily-understood perspectives that could be taken on the whole issue, but how to get from understanding the idea to "deeply realizing" it and living on the basis of it is a whole other matter of course, if that's even the route you'd want to take. For me, the transition was virtually overnight. The only other thing I could say is that this doesn't so much entail the cultivation of a new point of view as the abandonment of the one you have on the assumption that it wasn't fulfilling any particular purpose, and nothing needs to take its place. It's not working to overcome the anxiety, but ceasing to do the work you've been doing to sustain it. This will, of course, give you whole new problems in relating to others, but you've been accustomed to loneliness so long by now that it's unlikely it would lead to you being hurt in new ways.