Maybe seek out support groups that share your illness and life experiences if that possible. Talking doesn't exactly solve problems, but it feels so good to talk about your problems with people who share your experiences. I hope you are able to find someone or a group that can relate with you. Someone, somewhere, right now, is going through what you are and feeling how you do. Despite how alone and unlovable we all can feel, despite how we all can often feel like we are the only person in the world experiencing what we're experiencing....that is never ever the case. There is always someone out there hurting the same way you are.