You sound almost as messed up as me yet maybe more. I at least like myself and k ow niether you nor me deserve to be lonly. I sure as hell desrved way better than I got and now I am working through the anger o er all of it. PM if tou want. Maybe we can help each other. In 48 years I only found that Platonic love you described once but wow it was even better and more. I dont want to discourage you as my life was fucked up from birth as my mother went on a mission to keep me linely and isolated. It is ul to you if you want to talk.
@Moribund: i really meant it. I was a lot like you and just wanted to help people. I got over it and wish someone wanted to help me now.
firefall · 61-69, M
I dont think you need to be defensive or backfooted or apologetic. Loneliness can be devastating, crippling, and it's as real as any other torment. One thing I'd say is, you can only learn by doing, in the end. Get out there and do some volunteering, no matter how worthless you think you are they will find uses for you, and you'll find you're a lot less useless than you think. AND you'll get to rub shoulders, meet people. It's rare to make soul friends, but your chances of meeting one is zero if you're not meeting anyone at all.
Like a lot of intelligent people, I think you find it easy to get locked deep inside your head, and from there it's hard to reach out to others. Doing things can force you to focus on something external, and implicitly draws you out from yourself (slowly and with considerable pain, frequently, but still). Try volunteering with a church or charity group, or contact Samaritans or Suicide Hotline, see about doing some work with one of these.
And, this wasn't a mess, I can hear a cry of despair as well as most. Please, be sure, you're worthwhile, you have talents you haven't even stumbled across yet.
Like a lot of intelligent people, I think you find it easy to get locked deep inside your head, and from there it's hard to reach out to others. Doing things can force you to focus on something external, and implicitly draws you out from yourself (slowly and with considerable pain, frequently, but still). Try volunteering with a church or charity group, or contact Samaritans or Suicide Hotline, see about doing some work with one of these.
And, this wasn't a mess, I can hear a cry of despair as well as most. Please, be sure, you're worthwhile, you have talents you haven't even stumbled across yet.
firefall · 61-69, M
oh, and :
[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfBTiv3WGU0]
for something sombre (the whole Lemminkainen suite is pretty great actually, but this is the famous bit).
[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfBTiv3WGU0]
for something sombre (the whole Lemminkainen suite is pretty great actually, but this is the famous bit).
Moribund · 26-30, M
Ah, thank you for the many kind words of encouragement and suggestions. I hope that I can some day find a way to make myself try out volunteering, as it is the one thing left I still have any interest in.
As for Sibelius, I'm very glad to have come into contact with his works before, whilst in the orchestra. The feeling of playing ''Finlandia'' will never truly fade. Thank you!
As for Sibelius, I'm very glad to have come into contact with his works before, whilst in the orchestra. The feeling of playing ''Finlandia'' will never truly fade. Thank you!