Looking for “the perfect one” (aka your soulmate)?

I would submit you first discover the perfect you – live with yourself, become comfortable with yourself – make yourself into the perfect person for you.

Then, and only then can you know who the perfect is for the person you now know.

Then, and only then, look for “the perfect one”.

Side note: You may, when you are the perfect you (flaws and all) for you, that you don't need that perfect one. They might be nice as a partner to enhance certain parts of you life, but you'll find they aren't all that necessary.

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Chern0bylplaygr0unds

There are many " the ones" or " more than one soulmate " I mean if you believe in such things...

Ontheroad · M

@Chern0bylplaygr0unds also true - depending on where you live, likely a a few to dozens.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

A great idea for sure.

Lol….. but if I’d waited for that to happen I could’ve been 90 before finding my beloved.

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SirLirkALot · 46-50, M

@OlderSometimesWiser 90 and single

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@SirLirkALot None of your beeswax.

SirLirkALot · 46-50, M

@OlderSometimesWiser

CookieCrumbs · F

I really don’t like that line from the Tom Cruise movie: “You complete me.”

I agree that becoming comfortable with yourself is essential, but I don’t believe there is only one perfect soulmate. There may be one, or a few people whose values, temperament, and way of loving fit well with ours.

And as you said, we are able to find what “kind of person” fits us when we know ourselves better, when we become that that “perfectly imperfect person” for us.

The right partner doesn’t complete us. They complement us. Being content alone matters, but a compatible partner can still be a beautiful addition to our lives.

SleepingWithGhosts · 46-50, M

Already found her.

SirLirkALot · 46-50, M

the perfect me is imperfect

Reject · 31-35, M

I wouldn’t even say love is the pursuit of your perfect self in order to understand healthy relationship dynamics. Although that may be necessary to discovering it.

Love to me when it’s true is very simple:
It has no desires.
It has no attachments.
It has no fears.
It has no punishments.
It only looks at all there is and wouldn’t have it any other way.

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