I Keep Too Many Things to Myself

I just took my internship and it just made my want to hate myself even more.

For the last few years, all I wanted is to finish college and start new by having a job. I hated college so much that I just want to end everything. But as I took my internship, I felt like there won't be any difference after college.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just really boring that no one wants to talk to me. Everyone's ignoring me as if I was not there.

Sometimes I think about ending everything right now. Existing doesn't make any sense if I'll just feel like this forever.

I don't know. I'm just really hopeless right now.

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MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

You won't feel like this forever, little lamp. I was close to killing myself as I had severe suicidal thoughts for 3 years, I couldn't go around for 5 minutes without thinking "Kill myself" and even on better days it was like this, literally. However here I am, I've overcome it and now I'm loving life (Even if it's still difficult).

LittleLamp · 26-30, F

@MartinTheFirst how are you able to overcome it?

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@LittleLamp By the guidance of Jehovah the only God's words. All of us have a spiritual need that we need to fulfill, all of us needs hope in our life, and all of us needs to feel loved. God gives us all of this, and gave me all of it.